Would I be wrong or a bad person

If I cut my brother out of my life? Even saying it sounds bad, but I just dislike him so much. And he uses me constantly, rarely gives back. Let him borrow my car almost everyday without him paying toward insurance and only paying for his own gas. And I’m expected to thank him for putting gas in it. Everytime I try and reason, I get the runaround and he asks why I’m getting weird. I’m the loser in this relationship, for the most part.

But I have lingering doubts that when it’s time to part ways, would I be wrong to cut off communication? My sisters have already done this, so I’m not the only one who sees through his party-guy, nice guy image that he projects to people that aren’t in his immediate family.

I’m not going to do this today at any rate. But I wanted some input from people who’ve had to cut others off, and perhaps people who’ve had it done to them.

I see it like this. Family is like collector cards. You don’t pull them out all of the time, or they will not be worth anything to you in the future. You put them in a sleeve for safe keeping, and you keep them out of sight, so that they are not being compromised.

That’s the safest policy to keep things clean and on the up and up.

Then when you want to enjoy family, you have them in the future without any fights, grudges etc between anyone. The “collectors cards” are in mint condition.

But what if you all but gave him the car? Then when the car broke, you coached him on how to fix it, and of course pay for the parts. You can use mechanic chat forums and youtube to fix anything these days. Order parts, oil, etc on Amazon for cheap, or get used, big parts from the junkyard for cheap.

He doesn’t have to actually own the car, but in your mind you can manage it like he kind of does.

Could you manage that, and then become socially better off with him?

Remember that when you are older, and a lot of family has passed away, friends are at a distance, far in between, and few left, having a brother would be a good thing for you. I refer back to that collector card analogy.


Thank you, that’s great advice.

I mean, I get along with him sometimes, but othertimes he loses his temper and makes me extremely uncomfortable.

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When I feel like I am an enemy of someone in my family, I back off and try not to see him for a while. I need the time to do a lot of personal work. It has been this way with me for years.

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Yes, it sounds like you and your brother could use some space between you.

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I have had to cut people out of my life. I tried cutting out family members, but it was much more complicated. There are just too many places where our lives are forcibly intertwined. I had to settle for severely limiting contact and staying polite but distant.

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im a firm believer that family means nothing if a person isnt worth keeping in your life. i would easily cut a good chunk of my family out of my life (including my abusive brother) if i could

if he uses your car half the time i would ask him to pay half the insurance. his answer would help my decision whether to avoid and keep my car to myself.

I have bad blood with my sister’s family that goes back for time out of mind. They begrudge me every penny of SSI I receive and make me out a lazy and selfish loser. That kind of attitude wore me down to where they weren’t worth it. It’s okay to make yourself top priority, to look out for #1. If your peace of mind depends on it, then yes, do what you need to do.

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