I am approaching 35 next month. No kids. I want to adopt as I don’t feel I need to give birth to be a mum, but I have no idea where to start or if it would be possible.
2 Likes
I would start by maybe going to an adoption forum and see what really happens in the world of adoption.
It’s a rollercoaster.
If you can afford it, I’d sign up with an agency.
They really do get the most exposure.
Then the agency will help you from there.
1 Like
I know I need to do a lot of research before I even go down the route of putting in an application… going on the forum is a good idea thank you
I am adopting. It is possible, you just need a letter of recommendation from your therapist.
2 Likes
I will say that wanting to be a mom is not a good reason to adopt on its own. Kids are their own people, and will want to make their own decisions and mistakes. I’ve seen people get into fostering because they can’t have bio kids, and then being immediately disillusioned when their kids aren’t what they pictured. I know a girl who gave back three kids in a row because they had behaviors and she didn’t know how to deal with them. Kids who get adopted frequently have a trauma history. Even in utero trauma can really impact a kid’s mental development. Lots of kids end up with attachment disorders, developmental delays, and other issues. You have to be sure you are ready to raise a kid who might grow up to have a lot of struggles.
5 Likes
No problem, @anon80629714.
If you have any specific questions,
Let me know.
I’ve been through the adoption process and have a pretty good idea of how things work from both sides.
1 Like
I will definitely take as much as I can into consideration i might not end up having any kids and I’m not in a situation where I feel desperate to have them not yet
1 Like
It is very rewarding. I would not trade my kid for the world. But it is also nothing like I thought it would be. For one, he’s 13. I always thought I would adopt a baby. But after my experience with the babies, I realized I like sleep too much to be a baby parent again. Don’t get me wrong, I would have kept them forever and learned to adjust my life. But I was on the verge of a breakdown most of the time, just from the lack of sleep. You think you know what sleep deprivation will be like, but you really don’t. Some days, I would just lock us all in the one babyproofed room in my house and lie on the floor while the oldest threw every book and toy across the room and painted the walls with her own snot. And I would bounce the youngest in his bouncer with one leg while trying to rest for five minutes. Mr. Star and I had zero together time, and what little time we had was mistly spent just fighting over who got the privilege of five hours of sleep that night, and who had to wash the bottles (by hand, no dishwasher will ever properly clean bottles), and who had to clean dried yogurt off the floor. We have always been good communicators, but it is so hard when neither of you can get all your needs met, so you have to pick and choose which needs are essential to your survival, and which ones you can live without.
It is also amazing and wonderful. When we first got the oldest to sleep through the night, we were overjoyed. The first time they reached out to us for hugs, or teaching the youngest how to stand, or taking the oldest out to play in the sandbox. Just seeing the wonder on their little faces when they learned something new.
And now with Starlet, getting to watch him grow from the terrified, half starved, desperate to please little guy into a sassy and hyper teenager with his own opinions he isn’t afraid to share. It is just incredible, watching someone grow so much and knowing it is because of you.
Honestly, if you do go the adoption route, I cant recommend highly enough getting an older kid. They have their own set of challenges, sure. But I wouldnt trade my teenager for the world.
1 Like
Hell yeah !
They come in all shapes and colors and stuff lol
1 Like
If I ever settle down with someone I would also like to adopt.
Thank you @Ninjastar for the words of wisdom. 
2 Likes
As I said in another thread, here in Spain people with mental illness are not allowed to adopt. And for normal people adoption in Spain is a very long, dificult and expensive process.
1 Like
This topic was automatically closed 14 days after the last reply. New replies are no longer allowed.