The worst thing about sza for me is the almost chronic avolition. I take forever to complete any activity if at all (except reading a book) and most of the time I can’t even start activities.
The worse is i don’t have much privacy. Everything is revealed to the foreign psychiatrists.
When the daddy is rich, take her out for a meal, when the daddy is poor just do what you feel.
Hearing voices, negatives and horrible sleep
Schizophrenia is a complicated illness. I am fortunately positive symptoms free but still struggle with negative symptoms, however with a recent med change that seems to be getting a bit better. I just keep trying. That and taking good care of yourself is all you can do.
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I dont know if its all sz but my mental condition has caused me to miss out alot in life, i guess it was sz, i dont know, they tell me it is
The hallucinations suck. I hate when they come flooding in. It’s unexpected and it throws you off into this world of confusion.
Not working, not going to school, ED, being fat, and being scared of life.
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All that too for me @anon28145038. Just keep truckin’!
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Pretty scary stuff… those hallucinations @Cici2 , but the more insight we develop about them, the easier it becomes for us to tolerate them. It sounds like your insight is developing well. That’s a good thing.
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Having to put in extra effort for most, if not, all things. Im even having trouble brushing my teeth sometimes, like reminding myself to.
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For me the worst thing was how much the delusions separated me from friends and family. My delusions only lasted the first few years, and are not a problem anymore, so I guess I’m fortunate.
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Off medication, worst thing was delusions. On medication, worst thing is the negative symptoms.
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Not being able to compete with other people on an even basis. Even if good on meds sz takes away a lot of options. Things like careers and family can be problems and the modern world is set up for a certain kind of barbarity, at least in the West.
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My delusions were pretty bad. Probably exacerbated by several caffeinated beverages per day like low-carb monster energy drinks. I guess low-carb is better than high carb and high sugar for diabetes and stuff. The addiction might be worse because of partial agonists like I read here. It’s hard. It’s one of my biggest struggles. It causes the meds to be inefficient and not work sometimes even though there is little evidence besides my family and I noticing and thinking that.
My worst delusions are I’m stuck living as a schizophrenic with delusions and derealization and depersonalization for near infinity in an endless loop while questioning if I live in a simulation. I worry about certain things like grey aliens and the deep state targeting me for unknown paranoid reasons like me being a psychic or time traveler or alien or something along those lines.
I feel like I was targeted at college in 2010-2011 while drunk or high and then figured out it was my genetics after many years and lifetimes. Like I got alien or vampire genetics which means I’m not entirely human…
My horrendous, sad, and horrific reality and delusion consists of me being murdered, tortured as well as my family for unknown reasons caused by my loss of contact with reality and intense psychosis. That I talked too much ■■■■ and exposed myself as a computer simulator, John Titor, and other people.
That I remember the images and pain and suffering over and over again countless times for many years and that I died at a young age in my 20s.
There was some good things like beautiful women courting me and stuff like that but that is 1 in a billion odds now. I still remember the good times.
I am 100% convinced I was a Montauk Boy for unknown sinister, sick reasons. In the first past lives I had, I thought it was my step-father who gave me schizophrenia because he worked for the government years ago, a long time ago. But the aliens said it was because I was Fritz V. from Austria and was the first autistic person in a past life and they were experimenting on me to try to figure out what I was. I don’t even know if the wiki information on Frits V. is even right. I remember a dreamlike painful existence and memories of meeting Hans Asperger and being a patient at his hospital in one of my past lives. That’s all I remember. Now, I get dreams where I remember my past lives in parallel universes on other Earths and crap and different timelines and different times.
I’m stuck in this body permanently and am always schizophrenic since I come back alive and wake up after 2011 and 2011 was when I dropped out and got schizophrenia in college so I cannot undo the psychosis and the mental illness part. It’s like a living hell on Earth for eternity.
I thought I was a random victim but I’m not. I think aliens control the Montauk Project at the highest level. I could go on about a thousand different things I know or think I know but I will not.
I know a lot. A ton of ■■■■. But it’s all paranoid conspiracy crap…
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Insightful comment @rogueone and bang on.
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Your story is profoundly interesting @anon28145038. Maybe consider writing about it.
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I don’t know, the illness itself is difficult to deal with. I have such a hard time coping with it.
Everything. A brain that never shuts down.
The scary things that happened during psychosis and always having this nagging “voice” (not literally) in my mind wondering what is real.
Losing my feelings due to meds.
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Committing suicide after voices told me that I am God and immortal.