Worried I might have disorganized schizophrenia

I am a 25 year old male diagnosed with anxiety, ocd, adhd and depression. I currently take 25mg of zoloft. For the past few months I have been having trouble organizing my thoughts and I have had trouble writing the words that I want to write. I will write words that have nothing to do with what I want to say. A lot of times I will say the wrong words and it is really hard for me to explain what I am thinking and sometimes I stop sentences before I am done speaking. I always have to repeat myself when talking to other people. I also have a really hard time focusing and writing this very sentence is difficult for me. I have visual hallucinations and I do not hear any voices. They started back in September 2014 and have just gotten slowly worse each day. I see animals that are not there, I see a different face on people, sometimes peoples eyes will look like a cartoon. Sometimes people’s teeth will look sharper than they really are and it is really creepy. My cognitive abilities are also slowly deteriorating. I have trouble comprehending articles that I used to be able to understand and sometimes the words will change. I am also terrible at accomplishing the goals I set for myself each day most times I will not even accomplish anything and I will just keep adding the goals to the next day. My memory is getting worse and have trouble remembering what i did I did a few minutes ago or a week ago or what someone told me. Sometimes I will remember information wrong and think someone told me something when they did not.

Your situation sounds stressful - and that is what is likely causing your disorganized thinking and memory / cognitive issues. Are you seeing a psychologist to help you with these issues.

Also - to reduce your concerns i recommend you try to get to an early psychosis treatment center so that you can be fully evaluated. I don’t think you are developing psychosis - but its good to get a professional evaluation.

Here are the resources. If there is not an early psychosis center close to you - call the closest one and find out if they know of good resources / clinics that might be closer to you.

http://forum.schizophrenia.com/t/early-psychosis-treatment-centers-how-to-get-great-help-for-free/12743
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Early intervention is the key. I waited months before I sought help at my partner’s insistence. There are some people who wait years to get help.

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I am not seeing a psychologist but I am seeing a therapist. I am going to get a new therapist because I do not like my current therapist. I have been seeing him weekly for about 4 weeks and I just told told him last week that I may have schizophrenia and he said I don’t have it but I did not tell him that I hallucinate. He dismisses everything I tell him and he always checks his email during our sessions. I also asked him if I may end up in a mental hospital and he said no one knows what may happen in the future. I definitely want help so I am going to contact the early intervention place nearest me today.

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Hey man, I’m 18 and am having the same problems of you. I have so much trouble memorizing things and comprehending passages is a nightmare. Also thinking of words to say is hard also because my brain can’t think of it. I have visuals where I will see like a cat and a persons figure flash by. I also get moments where I see a bunch of random colors and flashes. I also have not had auditory hallucinations yet other than late at night before bed and it’s like one phrase but it’s no repeating. I do have a bunch of talking going on in my head but it’s almost like thoughts repeating and when I bring my head off my pillow it goes away. The only difference is I’m so paranoid people are trying to kill me 24/7. Good luck man.

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I just made an appointment for the early psychosis treatment nearest to me. I’m going to see a licensed social worker on Friday and a psychiatrist on Tuesday. Hopefully I don’t have psychosis and it is just stress. I also wanted to mention that I have visual hallucinations almost every minute every day i just saw a nose on my finger and it was really weird sometimes I will see one color of light and then it quickly goes away after a few seconds. I have a really hard time setting goals and sticking to them. I also have trouble walking straight and I constantly bump into walls and I forget that I locked the door to my room and sometimes I will forget that my car is still in drive when I am about to get out of the car. I also constantly misplace things. I also have to have people repeat things sometimes three times when they tell me to do something. I need to get a project done at work that was due a month ago but I have barely even started. My boss is not mad at me but I know she will be if I take forever to get this project done it was due May 20th. I never go to Yoga anymore and I need to go like 4 times a week because it makes me feel better. I need to do so many things but I just never do them. I always just do what I want to do not what I need to do and I have no regular schedule at all I am so random. I want to save money but I always just keep spending. I don’t even go to bed at the same time everyday i have a hard time falling asleep because I worry all the time. I just go to bed whenever I feel like it and then I regret it later that day. I always think negatively and I have always had a problem with setting goals and sticking to them my whole life. All the time I keep writing the wrong words and I have to correct myself even and when I speak I say the wrong words and have to say no I meant to say something else. This did not happen before I started hallucinating. I could think and write clearly all the time and did not hallucinate. I can’t enjoy watching movies because I keep hallucinating and I see things in the movie that are not there and I can not focus on the movie I just keep worrying that I’m going to lose my cognitive ablities because I might have schizophrenia. I can’t stay on topic or even explain anything in detail anymore. I write words the wrong way even though I know how to spell. I will use liek and instaed instead of like and instead and if in place of “of.” I have racing thoughts all the time and i can never just focus on one thing at a time. I always worry that I have some disease like lewy body dementia or huntington’s disease and that I am going to die soon because of it. Sometimes I worry that I have catatonic schizophrenia because I will sometimes be on the toliet for over an hour just surfing random articles on my phone and sometimes I will just sit in my chair for 2-3 hours and just surf the web and google schizophrenia or other diseases. Alot of times I will have put my feet in weird poses like I will lift my foot up while I am taking a shower. I also stare at people constantly and I have stared at people my whole life. I just tend to do it more often now.

Thank you Zilda123. It really helped me to know that there is someone else out there going through what I am experiencing. Thank you for your words of encouragement. I wish you the best.

your posts are super helpful! thank you so much for all the advice on this forum and acting as a mentor and friend on this site. I learn so much information about my illness and how to get better by being in this community. Many thanks! :smile:

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I have been having trouble balancing also and the same thing happens to me in cars. It’s like I just zone out. Wierd man. It’s nice now though. Like late at night when my dorm room door is locked the paranoia is pretty much gone as well as the unsual thoughts and I’m so thankful for these times. The memory and concentration is still bad though. Let me know how the treatment goes. Oh yeah and I’ve had ocd since I was 12. 12 years old I had to touch the radio right after my mom touched, someone touched me I had to touch them last. As it progressed I have to eat things in certain amounts. Touch each site of my car before I open the door so it’s even. Touch each wall if I touch one to make it even. So much ocd ■■■■ that has affected me since I was 12. The unsual thoughts, concentration problems and visuals started about a year and a half ago. The paranoia started about 6 months ago

I’ll definitely let you know how the treatment goes. I’m hoping my visual hallucinations will go away with treatment. I also heard there are ways to retrain the brain to help with cognitive trouble and i’m hoping my early intervention will help with that.

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I met with a social worker last week and a psychiatrist on Friday. I had a hard time giving her specific examples of my hallucinations and delusions. I even forgot to mention the side effects I experienced from Zoloft and forgot to mention that I have some medical conditions. She told me she does not think I have schizophrenia. She asked what kind of support system I have in place for myself. I told her that I have a life coach whom I talk to almost daily and my family is very supportive. She wants me to see a neurologist first to rule out any medical conditions before prescribing anything.

I met with a social worker last week and a psychiatrist on Friday. I had a hard time giving her specific examples of my hallucinations and delusions. I was extremely slow in giving her responses. I probably sounded like a dumbass. I do not talk well to psychiatrists I am always nervous to tell them what is going on. When I was younger my mom would always talk for me when we went to see the psychiatrist. I have an extremely hard time explaining myself and I usually think of what I should say later that day because my mind is always racing and I think random thoughts all the time. I even forgot to mention the side effects I experienced from Zoloft. I get brain zaps, my arms twitch, and I get a really dry mouth and its hard to ejaculate after I take it. I do not even remember all the prescription drugs I took my whole life only my mom would know. I forgot to mention that I have some medical problems like i had tachycardia once after smoking weed and my hands and feet tingle multiple times a day and heart attacks run in my family. She told me she does not think I have schizophrenia. She asked what kind of support system I have in place for myself. I told her that I have a life coach whom I talk to almost daily and my family is very supportive. I forgot to mention to her that I have no motivation to succeed in anything and that i can not cry anymore and i also constantly stare at people and I have to be reminded by my mom not to stare. I only do what I want to do and I rarely ever follow my daily schedule or do what I need to do. I don’t have a regular schedule or a nighttime ritual at all. I have a really hard time visualizing myself doing something or visualizing anything in my head. I can not think of what someone looks like when I try i will think of a different face and i can’t really visualize anything Because when I do i always visualize something else. the psych wants me to see a neurologist first to rule out any medical conditions before prescribing anything. I also can’t walk straight anymore and I constantly bump into things and I am extremely forgetful and all the time I will forget what I am doing I have a terrible memory and can not understand what someone just told me. A few months ago I even accidently went in the wrong bed. I slept in my housemate’s bed. If i talk to someone I will only remember probably 25 percent of what i was told if that A month ago I went to go see a friend and she told me that my voice has changed. I went to a speech therapist a month ago and she thinks I have mild cognitive impairment. Our session only lasted a month. I meant to say our session was short because I was around 20 minutes late to the appointment. I’m hoping regular sleep and yoga will help but I havent regular been doing either.

I recommend you review this list of items to discuss with your doctor or social worker - every time before you visit them:

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Based on all the stuff I read in your posts, I would recommend seeing a neurologist. Sz does sound like a possibility, but the description is not "classic for sz per se. Some of the psychotic elements sound like they might be rooted PTSD combined with something organic. Were you in the military, and did you go overseas?

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Thank you so much. This is such a relief.

Thanks notmoses the psychiatrist said she would refer me to a neurologist. No I was not in the military nor did I serve overseas.

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Good luck with the neurologist, i hope things come back okay.

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Thanks Cbbrown. I hope so too.

I really hope I don’t have lewy body dementia or huntington’s disease or schizophrenia. I worry all the time that I have one of those diseases. I also will go to the bathroom and forget how to open the door. I have trouble keeping water off my shirt when drinking. And I do not walk in a straight line anymore I tend to bump into things all the time and I will bump into walls and trip over rugs. I have to put my hand on something when to keep my balance when getting dressed and putting on shoes. I also have mild cognitive impairment and I am terrible at remembering anything. I can not stay still in bed and when I wake up from bed the pillows are usually on the floor. I also have insomnia and I used to wake up with all the bed sheets on the floor. I also fall asleep in weird positions and I have one foot under another and I will make fists with my hands.

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If you do have memory problems - its most likely due to the stress of worrying all the time. Worry is stressful, and is well-known to cause memory problems by itself - so try to turn down your worry. Get some therapy for it…