Wives tales and does it really work?

First the more immediate problem…

The kid just stepped through the door from a bad night out. Does a raw stake on a black eye really work? My kid sis has a black eye and she says just ice is fine. I can get a raw stake if it will help.

First aid question number two… human grade superglue. My sister say’s she doesn’t need stitches because the cut isn’t deep enough and the super glue worked fine. I still want to have her get it looked at. She says the glue will hold until Monday. She is also using gauze and duct tape. ( I hate it when she gets macho)

The second problem: she got the black eye and the stab in the hand from our brother who is still in denial that he needs rehab. He also took a baseball bat to the headlights of her car.
I do not want to call the cops on my youngest brother, yet at the same time I WANT to call the cops on my youngest brother.

I don’t remember what I did when I was blacked out drunk, but I never stabbed someone or hit a girl in face and I never trashed a car with a baseball bat. I am trying to stay calm. I’m trying to figure what action should be taken. If my kid sister forgives this brother of this too… I am going to pull out my hair and just loose it.

I think just ice is fine. 20 minutes on then 20 minutes off.
Superglue as far as I know was actually made to seal cuts for soldiers so as long as it is holding the cut together then she should be ok until Monday.
Sorry about your brother. Talk to your parents about what to do. It’s a hard call. It seems he is going to far…

1 Like

Forgive him all that you want, but action needs to be taken to correct the situation, whatever corrects the situation you know.

If he is beating and stabbing you guys you’ll have to stay away from him for awhile, and yes you’ll probably need to punish him somehow, it will be good for him.

And when he is done being ignored for awhile and has taken his punishment then he can make it up to her by doing nice things for her.

But most importantly he must make a serious effort not to do it again, forgiveness is actually a bad thing without change for the better.

P.S. Don’t waste the steak!

1 Like

Thank you for that. I had no idea about the super glue.

I feel I’m sort of in a rock an a hard place. Riley is hugely protective our brother John, if I “rat him out” to the parents, I know that Riley will really get “Calm and cool” which is when she’s at her scariest. Just like mom when it comes to that. But if I don’t “rat him out” he’s going to keep beating her up.

Sitting here, typing it out, is sort of helping me look at it. John loosing face vs. Riley loosing blood? Yeah… it’s time to bring in the parents and tell them I am ready to call the cops.
I can not believe I’m not freaking out yet. I have a feeling in two days I’m going to be a mess about this. I’m trying to use the window of calm while I’ve still got it.

I just looked at the car… It’s not just the head lights. The thing looks trashed. He got all the windows too and wing mirrors too. It’s time for some hard calls.

He hasn’t done a thing to any of us other guys… He’s taking it all out on our kid sister. Which is another thing that is really pissing me off. He won’t pull this with us… his older brothers… he’s taking it out on an underweight, 17 year old younger sister who three years younger and almost half a foot shorter then him…
The little (beep) er…

You are handling this very well. Try not to look at it as ratting him out. Just as in the past your family has had to make hard decisions for you. Now they may have to make them for your brother. He needs help. We will be here in two days when you need us. :heart:

I don’t want to sound mean, but perhaps an assbeating is in order?

If we all got our asses beat when we did things like this then wow, it’s like magic, no one is doing that anymore! Just need rock solid checks and balances thats all.

This is some serious stuff here, and i don’t think that a seasoned alcoholic is going to stop doing it or become sorry for it just by spending a night in a drunk tank.

Best wishes j, hope it works out well, wish that it did not happen that way.


@BarbieBF is right about the ice and glue. That should take care of it. However, if the wound isn’t closed well soon, then it might leave an unwanted scar. You need to make sure that both sides of the wound are touching together completely.

And a trip to the dr on Monday would be a great thing. Just be prepared to answer some tough questions about how the injuries occurred, being that she’s a minor. It might be wise to say that she was in a fight at school or something. Drs get very inquisitive about injured minors.

Hope this helps.



Thank you a lot for that heads up. I keep forgetting she’s a minor. She’s been an adult a lot longer then I have.

1 Like

At the very least I would confront the brother, and at the very least you should tell him if he EVER does something like this again to your sister you will call the cops on him. Period. If he does this again he will full well know the consequences and he has brought it on himself and there is no feeling sorry for him. State this clearly and directly. Tell him that you are not calling the police this time because of your kid sisters feelings. But next time there is ABSOLUTELY no way that you will not turn him in. You will have to explain your kid sister that he cannot get away with this, it is not right that he does this stuff. This is just MY personal opinion. It seems to me that family relations are complicated and intricate. But people have to be defended from violence. I would do this and I think your kid sister can realize that this is for the best and for her own good and that if he is allowed to get away with this that he will not stop. I know she’s smart enough to know this.It could get much, much, worse if this abuse goes unchecked. You have to make your sister understand this. She could have lost her eye or teeth. If this guy can’t control himself I see very, very, big danger in the future. MEN DO NOT hit women. They are bigger and stronger. It is being a bully to hit women and their should be no excuse. I find no reason to feel sorry for him if he is picking on women and especially young women. He deserves no sympathy. This is my opinion. I strongly believe this. I don’t want to cause a rift in your family. But give him the same sympathy that he showed to her when he hit her and the car. It should be stressed to your brother that he is VERY, VERY, lucky that he is not going to jail for this (if you decide not to go to the police). Your sister is mature but she is still a kid and she has to see the way things work in situations like this. The heat of the moment is over, it’s time to settle things and make clear the situation to everybody in your family. Make sure everybody knows where everybody stands on this and future behaviur.


The brother needs anger management classes at a community mental health center.

How To Treat a Black Eye

By Rod Brouhard, EMT – P

Updated February 21, 2012

“Black Eye”

Bruising is usually heavier below the eye.

Black Eye?lifescript.com10 Tips For Healing A Black Eye. Get The Latest Health Advice From

Black eyes are caused by bruising of the skin and fat around the eye bones (orbits). Most of the time, black eyes are minor injuries that, like any bruise, will fade with time and disappear.

Black eyes can also be a sign of a more significant injury - especially if both eyes are black following an injury to the head.

Call 911 immediately if you see any of the following:

bleeding from the eyeball (DO NOT apply pressure)
loss of consciousness
two black eyes (especially if the injury was to a part of the head other than the face)
loss of vision or blurred vision
vertigo (dizziness) 

Difficulty: Easy
Time Required: N/A
Here’s How:

During the first 24-48 hours, place an icepack lightly on the black eye for about 20 minutes of each waking hour. Do not leave ice on the eye for more than 20 minutes at a time.
After the first 48 hours, changing from ice to heat may improve healing. Again, only about 20 minutes at a time, about once an hour.
Watch the eye for swelling or infection. If the victim's vision is obstructed from swelling, or there is drainage or bleeding from the eye, call a doctor.


Never put raw meat on a black eye. There is a first aid myth that putting steak on a black eye will help it heal faster. It will not. In fact, putting raw meat on a black eye is more likely to cause an infection (see E coli).
Never put pressure on the eyeball. Eyes are delicate and pressure can lead to serious permanent injury.
Ice works to decrease swelling, but there's not really anything that can be done for the discoloration. It will eventually fade.

What a hell of a time to give up smoking….

So I called the parents and decided to not to go for ranting panic. I told them “Riley really needs help with a wee bit of damage to the car.” So the parent’s casually stopped by and then flipped out a bit. Then they went into fast action mode.

They called John and asked to meet him at the Starbucks right on the corner where the hospital is. So when he finally showed up, they made him sit with Riley at the emergency room. She was wearing her glasses when he hit her and they were afraid some of the glass got into her eye. It didn’t… whew… She did need stitches, 7 of them. She got a tetanus booster too. The car has to be towed to my friend’s garage in the morning.

John wasn’t lying when he was 100% surprised at what happened to our sister. I’m told he first asked, “Who did this to you?” He was so blacked out he had NO memory of any of it. He’s been driving around that drunk. Our parents took the car from him. He’s been living in it because his girl friend kicked him out last week. He’s on leave of absence from his job.

They’ve been sitting in the emergency room at Swedish Ballard most of the day. I marvel at my parent’s cunning; they specifically took Riley there because the detox and rehab at Swedish Ballard is just across the street from emergency. While my sis was sitting with Mom in the emergency waiting room, Dad was getting some clothing packed and insurance papers ready for John. But he had to walk through those doors on his own power.

So the intervention was held at the waiting room. I got there a little later in the afternoon and they had scared some people away. Nurses stopped by during some of the louder bits and offered help and advice.

But he finally admitted he needed help. It was when Riley told him she still loved him but she couldn’t be his friend anymore if he was going to be physically abusive … Contact. Finally. He admitted he’s been drinking for YEARS and doing a bit of coke or meth to not seem so drunk all the time.

I just got the phone call… He walked across the street on his own power. He’ll be in for a hell of a month, and it won’t be easy when he’s out, but at least this healing process has finally started.

@BarbieBf… thank you from me, I wasn’t sure if I was going to bring the parents in on this one. Riley was so calm and cool I wasn’t sure if it was that big a deal. But I took your advice…

@77Nick77… Thank you from Riley. She read your post about maybe loosing an eye or maybe some teeth and she FINALLY stood up to John. I can’t believe she did, but for the first time in years, she finally stood up to him. I just got my Christmas present right there.

This is going to be an odd Christmas, but it will be better in the long run. Thank you all. For your advice and input.


Good luck to your family.

1 Like

Thank you for this as well. I didn’t think about eye infection from the raw meat. She’s doing the ice. No glass in the eye. She says her eye is a little sore, but no more blurry then usual.

personally you should take her to a doctor to have her wound seen to.
talk to your parents about your brothers behavior and violence.
personally i would tell the police ,but that is up to your sister.
if i lived near you guys i would have bashed the crap out of him for hurting your sis.
the steak will help for the black eye , extra vitamin c, or a kiwi fruit on the eye if she is a vegetarian.(as long as there are no cuts , otherwise it would sting )
p.s sorry about my opinion i can’t stand bullies !
take care

p.s i just read all the posts , sorry my advice is a bit late, i was just so angry…so glad that she went to hospital, your parents are smart, hang in there and take care.

1 Like

Darksith, I always value your opinion.
I’m not happy with the younger brother either. This isn’t over… But Mom and Dad already took her before I had a chance. They just slapped John in rehab so fast it’s made my head swim.
I am still amazed at how fast they just did this. He went in this afternoon. Our Mom is a like a cobra when it comes to quick action. Once she’s ready to strike, there is no messing around.
I like the kiwi fruit idea… is that for the bruising or the swelling?

i apologize for my post i was just about to change it when i saw yours, it was inappropriate…sorry.
the kiwi fruit or pineapple or papaya softens the skin and increases blood flow and is full of anti oxidants, you can mash it or put slices on the black eye.
lots of vit c internally will also heal the eye quicker than normal, and of course applying ice and a warm compress.
good on your parents and your mum that was the right course of action, not my neanderthal approach !
take care

I have to admit… the butt whompping method was where I was heading for a while too. He is SO much bigger then she is. So, as long as I don’t act on it, I can think it. I know it’s not the way to go, but I can still enjoy the internal picture of a butt whompping for my little brother. Then I’ll meditate it out. Now that he’s getting some help, it will get better and I’m not as angry at him as I was this morning. This isn’t his normal nature. (but if it ever happens again…)

I am glad I still have some kiwi here. Riley likes to eat them. She’ll put kiwi on everything. Have you ever had a kiwi omelet? I have… not as good as it sounds. :wink:

I hope you don’t mind me doing this, but I really want to thank you so much for that piece of kick in the pants reality that my kid sis needed to hear from someone other then a big brother or a dad. She’s a strong willed redhead, but she will listen to logic. But she does think that she’s the one in control. When she started reading this, it really dawned on her just how badly injured she could have been and maybe she should have gotten some adult help before it go to this point. She finally decided enough was enough which is most likely why John agreed so quickly. Thank you again. You really opened her eyes to something that many of us haven’t been able to make her see. Every once in a while, she can’t do it all alone. She knows this, it’s part of her training… Even a lifeguard calls for backup when making a rescue.

what 77nick77 wrote was wise and right , mine was sz land next to wonderland somewhere out there!
violence of any kind is wrong.i admire your parents and your self for the control you all had.
my wife loves kiwi fruit and it is really good as the last thing to eat at night as it breaks down the food in your body and gives you a vit c shot at the same time.
i think i will leave the kiwi omelet well alone…
take care.