Wife won’t stop complaining

About how she’s too busy. We have a nanny, a house keeper, and she works 6h / day. I make dinner, change diapers on the baby, do the dishes, and feed baby his dinner. And she says I don’t do anything. Help

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Your wife is, in one word, spoiled.

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I can think of a few other words for her, but none of them will make it past the cuss filter.

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Hello very nice people,
This is mrs. moonwalker.
Shall I clarify that the nanny is for my husband, who stays at home? When I get home from work there is no nanny. I feed the baby (moonwalker does not feed him yet, he will start doing it tomorrow), I change the diapers with moonwalker, I wash the dishes by hand, clean up after the baby, put the baby to sleep, wash my milk pump, do back exercises which I need for my chronic back pain and then finally go to bed, all the while mr. moonwalker has been watching YouTube videos.
On the weekend there is no nanny so I do all the feedings, dressing and undressing the baby, bathe the baby, do the laundry, order groceries, put away our clothes and baby’s toys, make the baby’s food and play with the baby whenever he is awake.
Mr. Moonwalker has suggested I stop showering and having breakfast so I can have more time.
I am too polite to send you guys anywhere unlike you have, even had those you have never met or spoken too. Shame on you.

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:exploding_head::exploding_head: Good to have you aboard Mrs. Moonwalker

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I was in the relationship with an American woman close to 10 years, no babies because she used the birth control. Sometimes when I feel depressed I think how good it might be to have children of my own. Did not work in that way.

I wish you solve your family troubles. Children are the future.

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I think you guys need to have a constructive conversation where you clear out your expectations for each other and talk about what you feel can be done to make the partnership more balanced.

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I think Mrs Moonwalker should have found a different place to discuss the issues she has with Mr Moonwalker.

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The strange thing is that we have. I always have said tell me what I can do and I’ll do it.

Mrs Moonwalker always finds herself in a place with too much work, in school, working in ny, working in Portugal, and now at home. Have you seen this before?

Sometimes people don’t want to have to tell the other person what to do. “Tell me what I can do”, while meant well, implies that it’s their responsibility to keep an overview of tasks and who does what.
It doesn’t promote equality.

Instead, try to ask what her specific expectations are, and where she feels she could use more help.

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We have disagreements about what needs to be done and how long it should take to do them. Mrs moonwalker always ends up on the more and longer end of the stick

I’m not sure I understand. She wants you to do more and take longer doing the tasks? Have you talked about why, does she perhaps feel you rush through the tasks?

Maybe the two of you could work on a routine, or take turns suggesting what needs to be done and how while you write up a list or schedule?

Mrs. Moonwalker should get her own account, this makes you look that much more unsavory.

I do admit that my previous opinion was incorrect. It didn’t go far enough.

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No I meant the way she handles things. Like for example I am done with my lunch before she starts making hers

In marital discord there are two parties both claiming to be right.

From the point of view of the husband the wife is domineering, unsympathetic and irritable.

From the point of view of the view of the wife the husband is lazy, infantilistic, and irresponsible.

Depending on which facts you choose to use, you can support either, both or neither viewpoint as valid.

The husband has a serious mental illness which severely deprives him of vitality. The wife is the principle breadwinner. Either party could be chosen as the hero or the villain.

That’s why the delusion of right and wrong does not have much objective truth in trivial matters of married life. Compared to the baby being sick keep in mind this is a trivial matter and not worthy of blowing out of proportion for either of you.

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Actually my disability is almost twice her income

But insufficient to maintain a household, I stand by my statement.

You’ve really got her rattled

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Sorry but not sure why… She should be proud of her own accomplishments on their own merit. Let me clarify: That does not justify you not helping more. It is your duty to help out as a father as much as you can. If you are watching youtube videos instead of helping the family that is a dereliction of that duty. You are not allowed to cater to your own selfish wants if your family has a need.