I know this is a bit emotional, but I really wonder why US? Why ME?! I’ve already had a lot of crazy terrible things happen to me and then getting Schizoaffective disorder. Sometimes I feel as if I’m being punished by God. All of this sort of makes me not want to care about my life anymore. I know it’s pretty vain but gaining weight has shred me of my self confidence and identity. There are a lot of emotional scars from things I believed while being delusional and all that happened to me. I’ve been really kind to people my entire life. I feel like this is really unfair.
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Honestly it sux but if you hang around here enough you’ll see people do well with it. You see people so downtrodden but get better inch by inch…Yeah it’s tough but keep fighting. Get the meds right. Watch what you eat and exercise when you can. I’m paranoid sz but it’s still the same pathway. Take the minimum amount of meds to bite into your symptoms but enough to keep you moving forward…and work with your treatment team to be better…
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I have been getting better. I just feel as if my life was taken from me. I’m doing a lot of positive things like taking courses to start a business and stuff, but emotionally I feel angry at someone. Maybe God? I dunno. I have so much pressure to do something with my life as people have always called me so intelligent and so talented. it’s just hard when I see people I grew up with be so successful and every time I was on the “up” I had a mental break and was hospitalized. This is the first time I’m consecutively on medicine but I just feel like I’m expected to be perfect and I have the world against me.
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Well, you know what we’re going to say: Why not you? It could happen to anybody whether they’re good or bad. It’s unfair for every last person who gets schizophrenia.
You just have to look at it the way @rogueone says. People do recover even though it could take a long time and takes s lot of work. And help.
You got dealt bad cards just like everyone else here but you can stack the deck in your favor by taking your medication and letting the doctors help you. And don’t do anything to hinder your progress like doing drugs or other bad decisions. I’ve been down that route and I did the research and street drugs just don’t work: they make things worse.
Be smart about your recovery now and it will pay off in the future.
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I’ve learned to live without expectations and thus I don’t have any pressure on myself.
I do me and I move from there. It’s a life realized but a bit different from most. Perhaps reconsider things. It’s not about competition it’s about acceptance in your world and living a rich and realized life.
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Thanks for the advice. I have been staying away from drugs as I’ve realized they make my symptoms worse and they bring out like a different personality in me that talks to me with my mouth. Like there are two people in one body. Soo weird. So I am staying away from drugs like the plague. I’m trying to quit drinking, but I make sure not to get really drunk. I’m trying to set an alarm to wake up and force myself to get up during that time and when I’m awake I have a list of goals and things I work on. I just realize that I’m not the same person and I and everyone else really liked the person I was. My mom wants me to be really religious again, but I am sort of hurt by God from what I’ve been through when manic. I mean I believed angels were coming to get me to take me to heaven and so I walked through the woods, town, the highway looking for them to come take me “home.” Being let down and not having that happen has changed me. Not to mention the fact that when manic sometimes I’ve thought it was Armageddon. (and that’s just a little bit of what I’ve been through when manic).
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I really appreciate this advice. My life has been crazy and I just want normal things like “normal people.” Like I don’t care if I ever have friends again. I just keep thinking “What was the point of my life to have all this happen, and then I die?” It’s all spiritual and existential questions but I can’t stop thinking about it when I look at the sky or when things get quiet around me or when I get bored. When I got manic one time I ran from the police who stopped me on the highway because I was walking and then I ran into the woods, found a house, thought it was my house and then walked in. Scared a young girl, she left. I then locked the door, got naked and lit a fire in the fireplace. I woke up and there was a swat team outside calling my name over a loud speaker. When I stepped out of the door there were I don’t know how many but a lot of green lasers pointing at my chest! Before I opened the door I remember saying “Watch this” as if talking to “someone” watching and thinking this is how you die. It was crazy. Then I was in the hospital for a month. I am thankful nothing happened and the house owners didn’t press charges!
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I feel you I think the same thing why me? Why did these other people get married and not me? Instead I have mental illness I’ve also felt hurt by it too but I’ve become thankful for the small things I’m thankful for my food and drink that I have everyday and a roof over my head and cats and my family to name a few things I don’t have expectations of myself anymore what’s the point? We all end up underground anyways what is interesting is just today I weighed myself and I lost 10 pounds! I use to weigh 240 I believe (160 before meds) but 240 I hardly exercise and I eat out almost every meal I’m guessing I lost 10 pounds because I mostly eat 1 meal a day or maybe my body is just getting use to the medicine? Who knows point is good things can still happen and do happen to us also
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I’ve been through a fck ton of hardships, and if there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that life isn’t about what you deserve, it’s about your limitations. (As in boundaries, not disabilities.)
It’s not fair, but that’s why we fight to get better.
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I asked this question for my physical disease as well.
Why does it have to be ME? Why do I have to get a neurological disease that kills all of my motor neurons until I can’t walk anymore? Why do I have to suffer from so much pain every night and why can’t I walk straight like everyone else?
This is same for some other 7,000+ rare diseases out there. Some are deadly. Some don’t have treatments available or they are too expensive to get. Children under the age of 1 die because of diseases like these.
I take suffering as this: when you are suffering, face it, and adapt around it. After I got my clinical diagnosis for my physical ailments, I am slowly learning to adapt around my condition. If I can’t walk straight, use crutches. If I’m too tired, get my mom to do it. etc.
If we spend too long thinking about how unlucky we are and if we spend too long waiting for a miracle, there will be no change. You have to move forward.
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I’ve really been focusing on moving forward and praying about it and working to change my habits. I think I just envy beautiful rich people on social media lmao. I have someone I grew up with who was my bestfriend but we were always in competition and I was always smarter and more talented than him. But NOW he is rich, and hanging out with famous people regularly. I’ve tried being a preacher for 11 years, teaching people who spoke Swahili the Bible, spending my money on friends and family and I still experienced all of this badness. I know I need to get over it. I just don’t have anyone to talk to. I don’t want to talk to a therapist, I just wish I had someone in my life that I could talk to. I don’t want to worry my mom or my family. I just need to get my feelings out.
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I’m so sorry that you are going through your diseases! I have a physical disease too and it makes me feel worthless sometimes. I just have to realize I can’t compare my life to other’s lives because my circumstances are waay different.
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Yeah, all you can really do is move on and try to enjoy what you can in life. I spend half my life in bed, so I may not be the one to talk, but I think attitude is everything. It sounds like you have a good head on your shoulders so I think that you will be OK in the long run. Try to focus on the positives that you do have in your life.
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You’re not being punished. Life is painful sometimes, and horrible things happen to people who don’t deserve it. If you want my advice it would be to grieve your losses and then focus on rebuilding whatever you still can rebuild.
I am not schizoaffective I am schizophrenic although I don’t know the difference between the two
We don’t get chosen for the disease it’s just our bad luck that we contracted it
What we have to do is cope with it and enjoy life
It’s funny, I was asking myself this exact same question last night.
It’s normal for humans to look for reasons for random things though. Especially when they just seem unfair.
You didn’t do anything wrong. Life isn’t perfect. It’s flawed.
It’s basically just bad luck.
Why not you? What makes you special or exempt? Be glad you’re still alive. There are little kids who have died of terminal cancer who would have gladly traded for your problems, but weren’t given the chance. Your glass is half full, not half empty, and nothing says you can’t still fill it.
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