Manners, what to wear, a classy car, etc. Michelle Obama was criticized for wearing a cardigan in the presence of Her Majesty. How could people know any “better”?
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sir level slowly and quietly puts away his neon pink cardigan 
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That’s the media.
It’s about feeling the importance. A funeral of a friend or relative is important. A test for the school is important. A birthday is important.
There is the book “Über den Umgang mit Menschen” by Adolph Knigge that is the German book on manners and etiquette. I have yet to read everything.
Also many manners have their roots in history. The US is not very old. Modern living is very different than it used to be. It took tens of thousands of years to get the manners. They are different for different countries.
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When I was 11, I was told by my piano teacher that I’d be playing for some vip’s. My mother made some derogatory remarks the afternoon of the recital. I was so tense without my mother’s support that I failed miserably. I was like the winning horse that had to be shot after he broke his ankle. It showed up in the form of mental illness years later.
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I think etiquette and manners are important but the least people can do is tell you instead of making snide remarks.
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