Why my evenings are still so bad? Will this end one day?

i worry so much about the future. i am juste here thinking and ruminating all the time. I mostly think that ill never get better on any point. neither having a family, or job, or even a proper education…
Can i get better despite this cause my days are better now? does my worries real or its still a pathological anguish?
gosh, i should have started to fight years ago, not now…
please, answer me… i really live like a dog in the evenings… can it get better faster or there is no guarantee for anything in your opinion? even though that i feel better in the day? honestly, i am scared that ill always have some rests of illness cause ive been ill since too long.

Hang in there, Anna; it’ll get better! Sorry your evenings are tough, but it does sound like your days are getting better. If I remember well, you’re more occupied around the home and riding the exercise bike now. Also, your new hairstyle looks awesome! :slight_smile:

you are kind tomasina, thank you very much…
But this rumination is a killer. I dont have another ideas or thoughts in the evenings… And i live like this since years. When i get better in the day, i realize that i really have an intellectual issues. and i think its quite tough to recover on this, isn’t it? How i am gonna to catch the whole information outside one day? terrible, terrible illness i say…
is it possible to recover after so many time being ill? i am not from the bright schizophrenics. I am just with a bunch of negatives.
Do you think that i have my chances to feel better without really believing it? that meds can help even more?
I am 35 years old and maybe one day ill want kids. its terrible to cant have them because you are sick :frowning: .

I have faith that you’ll feel better, Anna, seriously. Please be patient with yourself. You’re on a good path

now. Again, if memory serves me well, I recall you sharing that you’re ‘insensible’ to music. I’ve been there often;

it’s very painful. Just a suggestion, if I might, do you think it could help to slowly start experimenting with

listening to Youtube music in the evening?? Music therapy?? It’s very good for the brain. But you know yourself best.

I see that you’re bright. Your English is great!! And do you speak French/Bulgarian, also?

As for children, yes, this is a serious issue. What can I say?? There will always be volunteer opportunities

to work with children. But, yes, I believe that I understand your concerns and empathize.

I have to log off now, Anna. :wave: Talk to you later! :slight_smile:


You are very hard on yourself.

I’m sorry that evenings are difficult for you,

But I really feel like you are not seeing your situation for what it is.

Those things don’t matter, when you are healthier, you can tackle that.

Right now you are wasting all the energy you have on self loathing instead of getting yourself to that point where you are healthy enough to do something!

Do you write or journal?

Goldenrex, people have to recover with years from a simple depression. While i am ill since child. I am worried, really. I remember how badly i wanted just to sleep forever after my school when i was kid. Nothing didnt interest me. I just wanted to sleep. And now, when i want to live, i have those awful evenings when i see the damages from the illness. How i am gonna make it? Ill recover in my 60s or what? :persevere: despite my efforts in the day, i am face to face with the reality in the evenings. But i could be wrong, idk. Maybe these worries are treatable with my meds…

Hi Anna1,

Evenings are difficult for me too, so I try to stay as busy as possible. I do laundry, clean the kitchen and bathroom, and when I get tired of cleaning, I work on my writing or read. Keep your mind occupied. I find most of the things I worry about aren’t made any better by worrying.

Good luck!

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You should forget about recovering and just start living.
Hope you feel better

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We’re all worried about the effects of this illness,

I’m afraid it’ll get worse as I age,

You’re afraid of not feeling better.

But we are both here, trying to navigate it, and do something positive for our health.

You can’t discount that.

A few possibilities. Depression is possible, hypothyroidism also and even autoimmune disorders like fibromyalgia. All can lead to fatigue, tiredness, foggy brain and low energy and motivation. Dysfunction of dopamine release due to depression, drug addiction, high prolactin, and certain meds may contribute. There are prescription medicines such as Concerta and, the latest, Provigil, that can be used to help low energy and it’s worth asking your doctor about the various options next time you’re in the office.

There is little research on this, but l-tyrosine and l-phenyalanine are the precursors (building blocks) of dopamine and norepinephrine. Theoretically taking these should help us to produce more of these neurotransmitters. It is referenced in the peer-reviewed literature as “amino acid precursor loading therapy.” Good luck.

I feel like there are steps you have to take before moving on to any bigger goals in life. Before you can get a job or start a family you first need to learn to manage yourself and your symptoms. Start with baby steps and do stuff at home. Set small goals, try to stay happy…

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What’s different about the night vs the day? Is it because you are occupied during the day and not at night?

I also have compulsive rumination. It is a hard thing. I end up doing other things compulsively that are less destructive, at least. Almost anything will do. Give yourself a pedicure. Watch a show. Are you able to do something like read or crochet? Adult coloring books?

I try to give myself a set time to ruminate, and the rest of the time I try to do other things.

I do the same think honey, but is till have a lot of time to ruminate. and it leads me to some bad states. whatever, today my mom is suffering, she has serious health problems. I am afraid for her and I get panicked.
I hope it will passes her but I am really not big help to her. My sister will help me if something happens.
Can we turn this bad habit into something constructive with time? does the time will help us or we really need to activate?