Then I feel like I might jinx something?
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Do you believe in superstitions?
Tbh, I’m not sure if I do or don’t. I know that sounds weird.
All I know is that if I talk about some things on my mind I get uncomfortable and feel like ‘that might have been safer to not say out loud’
Idk why…
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I think words matter; also what you release into the universe, matters too. But I agree with you.
In negotiations: you play ‘your wants’ closer to the vest, and sort of only deliver ‘negatives’’ to your ‘adversary’(really what it’s called), to lower the price you’ll get for their item(s).
Do you know what a ‘neg’ is? I feel like maybe it’s happened to you along your narrative.
No I don’t know what a neg is?
It’s manipulative and I got it from that famous book on ‘pickup artists’. My friend you see, said it changed his life. I only read a little.
But for your ears, maybe that one broken dude, made you feel bad just so you’d seek his approval, be off balance, and be an easier target for erm ‘relations’.
You’re ‘like clay‘ sort of. I mean that so well, you’re fresh air in a broken down world. I like helping you.
But did any of this make any sense to you? Because I could picture a lot of men delivering negs to you and that’s got you questioning your value out there; and on the inside.
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I have the same exact problem because I share a lot.
I talk to myself about human nature though. People like challenging themselves and don’t enjoy ‘shooting fish in barrels’!!!
Imagine the news headline… that’s what I do. A person comes for help, is hurting bad, and gets ‘delivered into more evil’ or more harm???
People aren’t THAT BAD. They just don’t do that.
But equivocating just a tad, I think therapy you will take to, and it will serve you well.
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I get that. I tend to think I don’t believe in superstitions, but I sometimes feel like if I think about something too much it’ll come true. Same basic thing.
I have no advice, though. Just that I understand.
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I just feel like saying I WILL NEVER GET PSYCHOSIS AGAIN.
(((But I just don’t know.)))
But
I WILL NEVER GET PSYCHOSIS AGAIN…
But then I feel really unsettled. It is so strange…
As if I said something wrong 
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I think with stuff like that it’s because the likelihood of so high. It’s a real possibility. Sounds like that fear it’s getting to you more than you feel like you’re actually jinxing anything.
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