Why is everything so hard

I am not functional at all I can’t write papers for school (without them turning into paranoid 20 page rants) or work at all and broke out into stress hives today head to toe. I stopped my AP because I was convinced that it was poisoned and now I’m going onto the max olanzapine dose (20 mg) tonight to try to stop my third hospitalization in 4 months

Thinking about applying for disability because I’m literally not functional I can’t do anything I just stare at the wall all day or think about how the government is out to get me or see shadows and I can’t eat because the government is poisoning all of my food

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The golden rule is you don’t mess with meds without talking it over with your doctor first.

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Give the medicine time to work. You can get rid of those delusions and paranoia if you stick with the meds.

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Ugh I know I just got so paranoid that they were poisoned that I literally can’t handle taking them.I’ve tried everything but I swear all Risperidone is being poisoned by the government. I feel better about taking olanzapine though I’m not as worried about it for some reason idk why. I feel like everyone I talk to on the phone turns into a salad I’m stressed

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I understand about medication concerns. I am worried that the pharmacist is stealing some of my medicine to sell on the side. I have never told anyone that before.

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