I was in this writer’s group mostly made up of elderly women. They treated me well, and some of them were very good writers. They were very sensitive against anything even a little crude in my writing, but that isn’t why I quit going back to their monthly meetings. The problem is that I am so intensely nervous that it makes other people tense. One time this guy told me, “I’m afraid if I get too close to you my head is going to explode.” People think that with just a little reassurance my nervousness would go away. It is commendable for them to take that approach, it doesn’t work. I’ve been this way for forty years. It’s not going to change. Normally, I would figure that people could get used to my presence, but older and frail people start breathing heavily, like they’re on the verge of a heart attack. I could give them a heart attack. It’s better for me to stay away.
I had to give up my art walk for fear of anxiety too…don’t feel bad…
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