Why don't I think anything is real?

Johnny Cash mentioned something in his song that made my reality snap when I was drawing, my bf knows I’m not ok today, and he was comforting my suicidal thoughts a couple hours ago. Made me look on the bright side. Now I’m afraid I’m dead. I want this feeling to go away. It got worse with the Johnny Cash song. How does my bf recognize these things, is he that sensitive to my emotions?
Am I making this all up (life) in an alternate reality? How do I know if I’m alive?

Check your pulse and that’ll give you the sure thing of being alive.

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I called crisis, everything is straightened out

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