Why does this affect my brother

Why is it the guy should always pay?

I’m dating a guy and we either split or take turns paying. My brother says he should pay? He doesn’t think he’s a good guy Why is it affecting him?

Has he ever just paid himself?

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Relationships are getting more progressive now, it’s almost a norm to split the bill these days. There are still conservative-leaning couples who would have the man pay for everything, but that’s falling out of favour.

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Yes. Sometimes we take turns. At this point he pays the whole thing.

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But I’m pretty adamant I pay. So I never have to feel guilty… I never have to feel I owe him.

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Your brother might just be trying to protect you. I always split everything with Mr. Star before we got married. Now, we have all joint accounts so it would be ridiculous of us to try and split.

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I think my brother is an idiot. In the early days when he was dating he went long distances to meet his girlfriend. Kept rubbing in the fact how he treats his girl like a queen and can do anything for her and how my partner doesn’t do the same.

But they’ve split up 2 times over arguments that she doesn’t come to London to see him. And he’s only going.

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It sounds like you have a healthy, equal partnership with a guy who loves and respects you. Maybe your brother is jealous that you also put in work for your relationship.

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I just don’t get him… in his mind he has to get married before 30 … Yes maybe i.do feel slightly jealous he might propose to her before me and my partner get married but I’m in no rush. What difference does it make getting married at 30 or 50. I’m willing to wait.

It makes a difference to a lot of immigrant families, but it doesn’t have to. There is no reason to rush into something that is supposed to last the rest of your life.

Like, when you bought a phone, you spent months comparing models and plans before making a decision. And you’ll only be stuck with that choice for two years, tops. If a decision is going to permanently affect your entire future forever, you should absolutely make sure you want to do it first. Outside pressure shouldn’t be a factor.

Once I finally did get married, it was all about when I was going to have kids. And oh man, my Jidoo is still furious that I’m planning to adopt instead of have bio kids. He yells at me for it every time I see him. But I had to make the choice I could live with. You’ll never be able to please everyone, especially if you marry a guy from a different culture. But you have to make the choices that will make you happy.

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It’s all bs. My parents have joint accounts so they can make it look however they want. Also my sister has a disability and my mom is her trustee. So when I’m sent to the store for groceries I might be using any one of their cards. At the same time I pay room and board… So my food is supposed to be paid out of it… So I’m spending the money I gave them…our money just turns into a pool.

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I think that men can be hung up on the idea of paying because it’s a traditional role or duty and they feel that being in that position gives them a sense of power and control. A lot of men will use that idea to justify their manliness or how good of a boyfriend they are when they will not even consider ways they treat their partner. It’s not about money but showing power and dominance. There are men who are so insecure they can’t be with a woman who makes more money than them. If a man is that hung up on his role I would imagine he’s neglecting a lot of things in the relationship that are actually important and it throws up a red flag.

My brother is like that. Acted like I was attacked, when I chose to get involved with someone. I think it’s gross . I’m not concerned about his personal life.

I think it’s a matter of pride. Guys tend to be like that. Holding open the door and all that.

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