Just recently, it turned out that my brother is either bisexual (though in my opinion, more likely homosexual). I support LGBT rights, but the whole point is that… for so many years he criticized women, especially curvier ones—those with larger breasts or generally more feminine bodies. He especially insulted me when I gained weight (which wasn’t entirely my fault, as medication played a big role).
What I’m trying to say is that for about 35 years of his life, he completely hid the fact that he simply wasn’t attracted to women—although he did once have a wife. Somehow, I suspect that all the hatred towards women and gay men may have just been a kind of shield.
He’s essentially a dangerous person due to serious addictions—but this news mildly shocked me, because he spent so many years trying to prove he was a “macho” man, and that “all women are idiots.” Now it’s become clear why that was.
I truly don’t have a single bad thought toward homosexual people or any other expressions of LGBT identity, but… it’s strange that he lied to everyone’s face for so many years. Honestly, he belittled me so much—my relationships, my life—and caused harm, yet it turns out he himself never even knew what it meant to be honest. I don’t know why, but for the first time I’m seeing a clearer picture of him—although my intuition had been whispering something for a while.
I’m sorry you had to deal with his insults and horrible attitude towards you, that’s not right.
I’m not excusing his behavior in anyway, but it’s possible that he could have been confused and frustrated by his sexual identity, and possibly not ready to accept it.
I have a cousin who tried to be a stereotypical macho man. She told me that she was trying to fight off and deny that she is trans, and once she came out as trans and fully accepted herself, her whole mood changed and she is happier than I’ve ever seen her before.
@Teaclipse sorry you are having such a hard time. I have a “bad” brother that used to torture frogs and animals on the farm with his dart gun he blew through a long tube at them…made me so angry…I would start setting free the traps because my step father knew about what he did to the animals before killing them for him. he wanted varmints killed around the chicken farm they had. I watched him like a hawk and stopped him most times and saw that he killed them mercifully. hurt me to order it but it’s much better than letting the twisted teen killer in him. anyways…my point is that dangerous ppl scare me…he is grown now and much more mellow but he was disturbed as a teen I swear.
For many years I had genuine suspicions about him — that he was somehow withholding the truth… You could just feel it. All that slinging of mud at women — both about their intellectual abilities and about the bodies we develop as we mature… and those jokes about gay people… but now it’s completely clear. @LilyoftheValley
As for him — he’s generally an extremely destructive person. He’s both manipulative and aggressive, and he has a very big ego. He’s hurt me so many times in life while putting on the mask of the “good brother,” the “righteous” brother… I think deep down he doesn’t always understand who he really is. In a way, it disgusts me that he judged my choices, while he himself was clearly lying about his own orientation, denying everything, and calling others “bad and perverted.” To me, he is an example of why I doubt and fear many men. @Squanchy
Wow… this is also a horrible level. I’m really sorry you had to go through all this… My brother has done some very inappropriate things too — sometimes giving our dog certain illegal substances when no one was looking — I can’t imagine why he does this or how. But as I mentioned, because of him I often doubt the male gender. His total duplicity, his ability to manipulate, and the fact that his life is spiraling deeper and deeper into the gutter really frighten me… He has completely forgotten about hygiene or what it means to work — his addiction has regressed badly. @jukebox
It really is better when things are clearer… it’s easier to understand why he was lashing out at the whole world, one way or another. @Jake
I think so too… that’s why I try to avoid any contact as much as possible, ignoring him as much as I can. He would do anything just to make things worse. @77nick77
And people — it seems like the world is going down a bad path… bad military decisions… oh dear. The news this morning really scared me.
I female friend recently told me her boyfriend might be a closet homosexual. She feels sorry for him and doesn’t know what to do. I advised her to confront him and force him to come out if that’s the case. They’re not happy together. I think she should move on. But she’s hesitant because the boyfriend treats her well.
I truly understand everything—why people fear public opinion, insults—the attitude toward LGBT is still a sensitive issue in my country. Many people simply… think that “they’re not normal people” (especially the older generation). However… it’s awful when someone doesn’t accept themselves, and everyone around them suffers as a result—from their anger, aggression, and so on. Accepting yourself isn’t easy, but that doesn’t justify behaving like my brother. And the most important thing is, he really could’ve opened up to me—but instead, he kept everything locked away behind a hundred locks. @Andrey