I don’t really understand how to be in reality. This must be real right? People keep telling me “were all just waiting for you to wake up” and there’s been mention of a coma when people talk about their other patients. This world I live in is a scary place. And I’ve done more than my share of substances that could very well put me into a coma. In fact I didnt realize for a long time one of my go to drug’s effects (my favourite effect) is actually you slipping into a coma. It’s a state that I told myself I wish it could last forever. The feeling made me feel complete. I hear family cheering me on to “wake up (my name)” sometimes when I go to bed and close my eyes.
What is my psyche trying to tell me? How does one wake up? I don’t want to exist in my world thats always degrading. I don’t understand.