Why did my parent stopped me from growing?

Why did my parent stopped me from growing?

Why don’t they leave me be leave me alone?

So tired of all these crap…these expectation that I don’t want just want to go to sleep

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I was going through the same thing at your age till I left and lived on my own. Best move I ever made. But I did have help from my case worker at the time. Think I mentioned that to you before.


I totally agree. I first moved out when I was 17. I was working hard to have the finances to do it at the time, still going to highschool. Back then I didn’t get along well with my parents, that was my main motivation for moving out. You can learn to cook on the internet or most anything else really. Living on your own is far better, it might be daunting at first but it’s totally worth it.

It does sound like it’s time to try and leave the nest… which is a perfectly normal wish in your 20’s.

I hope you find your own space soon.


I need medication to these or no need medication to get thru these

I don’t understand why I couldn’t cross the road…I think I will never reach the other side of the tunnel and see the sun

You will never know until you take that first step out.

Maybe your parents would like you to be out on your own as well, not in a mean way of course, but your not a baby anymore that needs supervision, and it makes parents happy seeing their child happy in life too.

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I agree with Dreamscape: Separation from parents – physically, psychologically and emotionally – tends (strongly) to be a “good move” for most (tho not all) sz pts.

The reason why is that there’s a (strong) tendency among one or both of the parents of sz pts to have a poor sense of interpersonal boundaries and lack of awareness of their efforts to rescue (and covertly control) their sz-suffering children, even to the point of outright persecuting invasiveness.

(Google “Karpman Drama Triangle” and see the TED Talk video at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8DO7vw7JL_0 to see how victimization fits together with those two seemingly opposing behaviors in family triads.)

This triangulation – with its attendant “double binding” – does NOT occur all the time, but it is observed so often that it is considered syndromal in the families of sz pts, especially adolesecent sz pts.

Years ago, it was considered etiological. See Don D. Jackson, Gregory Bateson, Theodore Lidz, Stephen Fleck, R. D. Laing, Aaron Esterson, Jules Henry and M. Scott Peck, all of whom saw and wrote about this phenom. The notion was supposedly rejected in the '80s, but Mathjis Koopmans and others have somewhat succesfully resurrected it recently. It sure “works” for me, because I have actually never not seen a pt – in the flesh – with sz who doesn’t have a parent that more or less fits the description.

"Blame the parent(s)? No. It’s pointless and counter-productive. Much better to use the mindfulness-based cognitive psychotherapies like ACT and DBT to develop reality testing, boundary setting, distress tolerance and emotion regulation skills. Then the parents can be handled just as everyone else is: with empathy and compassion for their own “issues.”

The concept of persecuting invasiveness describes how my mother treats me. She thinks that because she is eighty and has she has such and such experience she can help me. She is also cold, heard-heated, distant, and at times mean spirited. I get so angry and I yell at her; but, it makes no difference. She is essentially deaf to me and all she can say is I am hurting her and don’t know you know I am trying to save you from some sort of ruin. When my sister was alive, I refused to talk to her. When she called, I immediately handed the telephone to her (my sister) I told her once that she was one of the reasons, I went into therapy. I know that they have discounted blaiming the parents (mothers) Mental illness is much more complex than that. Yet, it can be denied that their effect on our illness, symptoms, health, peace of mind, and well-being can’t be dismissed. I have purchased some books on cbt and maybe they will help me. I do have my therapist. In the meantime, I need to get a car with a minimum amount of suffering. Yesterday afternoon, she hollered at me for buying Hamburger Helper at the grocery store. I long for support, unconditional love, a cheering section, etc. I will, I guess, never get it. Maybe, something is not quite right with her, either. How will I resign my self to the loneliness, pain, anguish, and of course, anger? What did I ever do so wrong? Why does no one listen to me? Why am I blaimed, accused, and harassed for just being me? Why does it hurt so much? Will it ever go away? Will I ever know peace and love?