Why can`t I be specific?

I started Abilify 5mg (plus xeplion 150mg) few days ago and firstly it was pro-cognitive. I always wanted to study, I felt something and I started reading a lot and taking my notes. I have chosen music (music theory at this time) my favourite theme. After few days, just like today, I am jumping from theme to theme like I could not remember no more the purpose or the pleasure involved in musical activity and I am back to reading about medicines and gibberish thematics therefore never specializing in music, my best skill (although not good). Why can`t I be specific for a long time and my ideas, thoughts moods and feelings are always changing?

Don’t be discouraged. Your situation is probably not permanent, you can make good progress at building concentration. First, we can identify the factors that cause the problem. For example, are there biological or neurochemical causes? Do you watch television? That activity typically fosters short attention span, inability to concentrate, inability to think, and so on. Does your emotional state contribute or detract from entering into the fulfillment of a highly concentrated state of mind?

Meditation helps concentration, it’s a very pleasant activity with many rewards. It actually changes the way the brain functions, very positive, very beneficial. It has a positive effect on troublesome emotions too, very curative.

Get away from the noise, the friends, the jokes, the distractions, and enter a deeper state of mental space. Not only will you be able to concentrate, your quality of life will increase.

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Hi @raff228. Factors are related to brain function not by any other “physical damage”. Abilify had a cosmetic-like cognitive effect and it is gone now but I am taking it to cure psychosis too. I think media like TV, newspapers, and internet are “schizophrenic” in some way. At dinner time, if the TV is on, we might watch the horrors of the war and next we have news from the football league and all this while eating. In the internet this it is much alike, browsing habits are helpful to jump themes, normally with the web I try to answer me a question but in between I read and see too many other unrelated informations, info retrieval is not much precise. Along with this habits I have dispersion and schizophrenia, I can not recall very well how much important what I was doing was and the perspective is always changing, I start to think music is great then I have thoughts like this: “you are too old, it is much more necessary hard physical work and you will never make it, you are losing time can`t you see? You will regret because this does not give you pleasure like the other day, when you were avid taking theory notes”. So motivation is floating again, I take a enormous time to find out why it was so meaningful to me those notes I interrupted days ago, my goal was like forgotten and I wanted to recall the whole purpose to continue. My motivation breaks a lot and I found myself killing time and prioritizing medical information and random scientific news.

@raff228 you advice is good, meditation is great, I need to learn techniques, some temporarily sensory deprivation might also help maybe… I really need a mental space to work on, to recall the the purpose and go back to the work. On the other hand I need the web because I haven`t much printed information nor books… Just some notes took from the computer.

Thanks for the advice.

I meant to respond sooner but I’ve been a little distracted. We can be thankful that there is not bio-neuro reason for your current problem. Ah, we don’t call them ‘problems’, we call them ‘opportunities’. If we creatively grow through whatever life sends our way, we advance our state of being and improve quality of life quite drastically. So take the good and the bad of life with courage, confidence, and a positive creative faithful outlook.

The TV is a real problem and I’m especially glad we agree on that. Internet can be a problem, but it’s more easily remedied because we have control. In fact, internet usage might be a good place to develop the ability to remain concentrated. Set a timer for 20 or 30 minutes and stay with an internet task. Try to build ability to avoid any and all distractions. Work on that carefully and creatively, know that it will yield you very amazing results.

I’m also a musician, I studied music theory in college. It really does take time to compose, it can be a slow process. Do you use computer software for that? Sometimes getting used to using the software can slow things down even more. No matter, stay with the creative flow. Perhaps set a timer and allow yourself to work on something for 1 hour. Enjoy it. Put yourself into it. Express yourself. If things move slowly, know that you’ll pick up speed as you work. No question about that. You’ll get faster at composing, but it does take time.

Your other concern: priorities. If you think working on music takes too long perhaps you really have more important things to do. Maybe you could write a list of the things that are most important in your life. Work on the most important things first, then allow time for the other things. Again, a timer will help.

When you reach the end of the day, you’ll feel good because you attempted to accomplish what needed to be done. And it all gets better, over time you’ll get faster at everything, your concentration will go up, you’ll get smarter, and so on. So be patient now (and later), knowing that you’re on the right track.

Meditation, yes, it’s a must. You’ll love it. What about faith? Do you practice any faith? Setting goals and living life well is an expression of good faith; creative, fulfilling, enjoyable, meaningful, and expansive. The will of God is that we self-actualize, that we develop the best parts of ourselves. That helps us and everyone.

Hi @raff228 thanks again for the reply, I am a kind of spontaneous composer trying to get a basis on music theory now, so I just made some interesting improvisations. My timing is awful and I never play equal twice. I felt naturally musical but that seems to be disappearing. Since I never found a vocation in my life I followed I what I did best until the moment, not forgetting music was in my life before I get sick, I perfectly remember to play Heitor Villa-Lobos Prelude nr. 3 when I was 17 years old on the classical guitar, it was a little challenging to interpret his music at that time but I had help from a teacher. I do not have a Faith. I read a little about meditation, and also celibacy and then sensory deprivation. Schizophrenia “eats” my energy, I do not know if I am having a metabolic syndrome, I wrote another post about not feeling artistic, and what happens to me, basically I just do not recall art as something enjoyable and I developed more avoidance. I still write some texts and curiosity is not “dead” but at this precise moment I feel like I am “dead” for the art, the central key of everything before. When I am a little better I want arts again but soon my mood changes for depression, and I do not want nothing. I rarely used software to compose, I just experienced some harmony concepts with Musescore, I have an old guitar synth, now I just play electrical, I save tracks they I play over them, not with other musicians.

I think I lack the neurochemistry of “joy”, therefore I do not have will to do.

This is a great insight. Joy really does foster activity, especially creative activity. Speaking of that, what about physical exercise? Do you take walks, jog, do the treadmill, or things like that? It can boost your endorphines helping promote a positive affect.

Also, search for websites and exercises that teach you the techniques of positive psychology. to build up your positive affect.

Take it easy. Don’t feel like you have to climb the mountain by lunchtime. Make small changes that help you walk through the problems you’ve written about here. One step goes a long way. In fact, one step might be all that you can do. And that’s ok. You can be you. As you are. Or, if you want, maybe a little bit better. Follow that inner voice that tells you who you really are and try to bring out the real you. But don’t push yourself, it all takes time. So relax and enjoy this.

It’s great to talk to you.