Why can sz be so bad?

DX'd - Other
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Off meds I get violent thoughts and become irritable, suicidal and violent around ppl (family only thankfully). I went 2yrs without meds and now thinking about it if I went longer I could have been violent with ppl other than my family too. Before sz I was one of the best in school. These thoughts disturbed me and my grades went down since 16y.o. They were more in the background but got more and more intense until my diagnosis and still get intense when I stop meds.

I feel like I developped another personality since getting sz, a bad evil one. Is that why sz is called split mind? Meds switch me to the good one but give me severe negative symptoms staying in bed all day everyday. Sometimes I think about stopping meds as I get less negative symptoms than now on Risperdal.
Idk if my severe negative symptoms are any better than being suicidal and violent off meds.

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Dont know if this can help you but i found this, these are different type of schizophrenia.
‘’ paranoid schizophrenia , catatonic schizophrenia , disorganized or hebephrenic schizophrenia , residual schizophrenia, and undifferentiated schizophrenia.’’.

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I have these 3 off meds.

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Do you think telling that to your doctor will solve part of the problem for meds?

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I dont think so, here there is only one type of schizophrenia here. My original dx was psychosis NOS for 5 years until I stopped meds and relapsed.

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I meant here in Canada there is only one type of sz.

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Sucks, but thank God for this forum, if someone can be helped this community is precious.

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Some of the most common signs of catatonic schizophrenia are certain mannerisms, grimacing, stereotypy, and mutism [3]. However, the diagnosis remains confined to the clinical assessment rather than being limited to the signs and symptoms mentioned above. Moreover, this variant of schizophrenia has been identified with poor prognosis, mainly due to the higher association with negative symptoms and young age onset [4].

The Maudsley Prescribing Guidelines in Psychiatry (13th Edition) supports the use of second-generation antipsychotics like aripiprazole and olanzapine for catatonia associated with psychotic symptoms [18]. Our treatment was in accordance with the guidelines and aligns with the group of cases where antipsychotics proved efficacious. Olanzapine administered to our 30-year-old patient has previously been successful in treating chronic catatonia [19]. Correspondingly, Kirino E recorded aripiprazole to be effectual in treating catatonic schizophrenia in an adolescent male [20], and our case of the 18-year-old patient concurs with this result. However, in comparison to aripiprazole, our case demonstrated olanzapine to be quicker in alleviating catatonic symptoms, especially mutism.

You told abilify (aripiprazole) found useful for negative symptoms. Did you tried zyprexa (olanzapine)?

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