Some of the beings want me to jump out of my mom’s car even though we’re on the highway.
I’m sorry you have to listen to that.
I gained a lot of control over my voices with CBT,
Have you tried anything like that before?
That’s terrible. They seem to really want you to hurt yourself. For temporary relief, can you listen to music to drown them out?
Maybe you are under stress.
I’ve done CBT for my intrusive thoughts. I try do do the same thing with the beings by just listening to them but not doing what they say. It’s hard to ignore them. I didn’t bring my headphones but from now on I will. I have them now. Sometimes the music makes things worse but not now. I am under stress because of college. I’m graduating high school in June.
Oh no, I’m sorry music makes it worse sometimes. Maybe podcasts, then? Something to focus on instead of the voices.
My mom just got done yelling at me about how the beings aren’t real and how I created them. She said they’d put me in an institution for the rest of my life where no one would come visit me. She also said that I created the beings. I didn’t create them. They just started talking to me one day, said they were the ones who caused my OCD and went about their business. Some of them are nice and I like talking to them. I don’t know what to do now. I don’t know if they’re real or not. I think it’s called “cognitive dissonance.” We learned about it in psychology. @ZombiePupper I’m listening to music right now.
Your mother doesn’t understand what’s going on with you. Your brain is just basically misfiring and causing you to hallucinate the voices of the beings. It is in no way your fault. Your OCD occurs for the same reason. You might benefit from more CBT focused on dealing with hallucinations in particular, as they’re a bit different from standard intrusive thoughts.
It’s more like someone’s putting thoughts into my head, like people are talking to me only they’re doing it in my thoughts instead of just talking. They want to get out though so they’re trying to break the wall that prevents me from physically sensing them. I don’t know. She mentioned that I created a fantasy or something like that. Which is funny because having beings telling me to jump out of my car isn’t really my idea of fun but that’s just me. I’m tired. And I’m so angry. I’m not really sure why. They tell me that they’re real while other people say that they’re not. What am I supposed to make of that?
Don’t listen to your mother. She’s wrong and she doesn’t understand. The beings aren’t real. They’re a part of your imagination gone haywire, to oversimplify the weird process of psychosis.
The thing about psychosis is, it’s hard to disbelieve when you’re psychotic, even when all of the evidence in the world says you’re just psychotic.
Your Mom sounds like mine used to sound. She wanted everything to be simple, black and white, easily understood. And, believe me, if it were easy to understand, there would have been a cure years ago.
She said that I’m choosing to believe that the beings are real. I don’t care anymore. I’m done. I’m done trying to figure things out, trying to get myself to think “oh well they’re not real” even though they’re sitting here talking to me. She’s given up on me, and I’ve given up on everything I guess. I don’t want to believe anything, I don’t want to not believe anything. All I can do is run with the information I’ve been given and form opinions based upon what happens to me. But I can’t live in two worlds anymore. I’m done. Thanks everyone, and I’m sorry to have to say these things. They were right. Everyone wants my mind. That’s all they want. So I’ll be done with it. I’ll live until I can’t anymore. Thank you all for everything.
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