Why am I such a failure and waste of space

DX'd - Other
21

I know but I just don’t see that I’m ill

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22

You’re ill. Period.

You also have a young child depending on you to get your stuff together and be a parent, so knuckle up and stop screwing around. Every time you escape from the ward and delay your recovery you’re hurting your kid. It’s time to get your crap together and move forward.

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23

I hear what you’re saying but I can’t just snap out of it. I have my reasons for running away. My son is in the best place and I plan for his great Nana to raise him as I am not ever going to be a good enough mum. So thank you for reinforcing that.

24

Not reinforcing that you’re a horrible mum, reinforcing your need to focus on BEING a mom.

I was not fit to be a parent at one point. Now I am. That happened through medication, therapy, and a crapload of hard work. My turning point was accepting that I was ill and that I would take all of the necessary steps to get better, no matter how much I disliked them. And I DID dislike them. I’ve been on bad meds, had shitty therapists, had bad experiences in groups with other SZs, you name it. But once you’ve got that goal and only focus on that goal, you stop seeing the obstacles.

RECOVERY first.

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25

Sorry I know you’re trying to help. I just can’t believe I’m ill. I don’t feel ill. I am accepting being in hospital for my ptsd. I ran away because I wanted to remove the hands and because the nurse was really frustrating me. I’m not doing it on purpose. I want to be well and have a good life and be a good mum buthe I’m being realistic here I don’t think that’s going to happen.

26

What’s the story of your hands? Even if there not yours, couldn’t you accept them as yours, kinda like how people have prosthetic limbs and such?

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27

I know. Its just they were taken from me without permission and I feel violated. I also am to be God of the simitation by/when I’m 25. They’re trying to put my godly hands on a bad person so they will do destruction. I can see the hands on me are infecting my body even my blood is black.

28

Ahh I see, I can understand why you’d feel violated. But please don’t try to remove them, really think it through because you wouldn’t be able to visit the forum anymore as you wouldn’t be able to type doll! Stay safe and remember you’re in the best place for you at the moment and accept treatment x

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29

I’m going to get mine back if I don’t choose to go back to the real reality.