When I finally stabilized and came back down to reality I got hit with a pretty severe depression and hadn’t felt like this ever before. I was literally just existing, no energy, feeling exhausted, sleeping a lot, barely eating, low mood and motivation to do nothing. I was working at the time so that was forcing me to get out of bed because I wanted to be a responsible employee. I wasn’t happy with my life but I was glad I had survived such a scary part of the illness and came close to dying. I wasn’t delusional anymore.
I pushed through with all this for a good month until I told my psychiatrist how I was feeling. She put on Wellbutrin started me off with a low dose and then eventually had to increase. My motivation, energy, mood everything started to lift. I was taking 200mg at the highest dose and was feeling great but it was keeping my brain a little too active and was having racing thoughts all the time but I was stable and dealing with it. I eventually slowly started to taper down and was steady and stable on 50mg per day and told my psychiatrist as well.
I had been doing pretty good on that dose and was hoping that I wouldn’t need it anymore but didn’t stop taking the medication. Recently I’ve been slipping into my depression again. Don’t feel like getting out of bed and it seems that the exhaustion I was feeling is starting to return with the low mood and I’ve been sleeping too much as well. I’ve been taking Wellbutrin for more than a year now and was hoping that the depression would have lifted by now but it seems like its still lingering in the background. Why am I depressed? I try to be grateful for everything and am happy with a lot of things but this depression doesn’t seem like it going away. Any advice would be helpful.