Who here has been raped/sexually assaulted?

Yes, let’s see the profile.

Sorry and sad to read all the stories. An older man probably in his 50s molested me one summer when I was 12. He did it by befriending me and seducing me. I blamed myself because he did not physically force me. But it really messed me up mentally. I felt dirty and quit going to see him and the horses he let me ride. He called me several times, but I told him it was wrong, that he was married. Now I realize that some pedophiles “groom” their victims with nice things and friendship to get them to accept the molestation. Because I felt sinful and adulterous, I never told anyone until a couple of years ago. I guess it was mind rape of a sort. I was a prime target as I came from a background of living with a parent who had untreated schizophrenia with lots of verbal abuse like saying “I wish your friend was my child instead of you” or " you’re a worthless, good for nothing, selfish brat." So when this grandpa figure was kind to me, I fell for it. But today that parent and I get along well. We are both on medication for schizophrenia which made a huge change in my parent. I have forgiven all the abuse from my parent and have experienced real love for and from the parent. Sorry, I am paranoid, so will not say which parent. Anyway, it is not your fault if someone molested you. They are sick, not you.

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Three out of three my relationships were/are abusive. Physically, emotionally, verbally.
Sometimes just one of it, sometimes all of it.
And i have a lot of bruises…fresh…and older.
I let them do it because i think i deserve it and i dont want to be abandoned.
Long shitty story, indeed.

Sometimes I get paranoid that I was raped while blacked out drunk before, but it’s just a delusion I think.

One time in college I blacked out and a guy took pictures of himself putting his genitals on my forehead but thats as far as it went I think

I got sexually assaulted by a boy on my school’s playground when I was 10. I don’t know if this was a hallucination or something that actually happened (though I wouldn’t be surprised if it actually happened), I saw a small circle of cliquey girls looking at me and laughing about a yard away from me on the slides platform. I’m not 100% sure if this was the case, but I think they manipulated the boy who assaulted me (who was most likely neurotic in some form) into doing it.

Molested when I was 4 or 5 my birthday is in the summer I dunno if I was 4 or 5

Im sorry what has happened to you but look at the positive side: you and rhubot have ones of the most amazing characters on this site and this pain and suffering that has occured in your life only has made you golden. you know like the metal that goes through fire to be improved and cleansed? same with you.

From http://sapac.umich.edu/article/196

For non-serial rapists: negative gender-based attitudes, heavy alcohol use, and pornography consumption are what stand out

From http://www.sfgate.com/news/article/Four-types-of-serial-rapists-what-makes-them-3159973.php

For serial rapists, four types:

  1. assurance seeking: shy, loner, underachiever with a dire need to prove his adequacy

  2. power-seeking: dominance freak; think “Mike Tyson”

  3. stimulus seeking: often bipolar, often sociopathic excitement freak with very high threshold of stumulation

  4. retaliatory: often paranoid, often bipolar “rage-aholic” looking to discharge energy after he has been “wronged”

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