Schizophrenia.com

Who else here is married?


#1

Just let me know what life is to you
Are you planning on having kids?


#2

42 have no kids and no boyfriend
So instead I at college to get degree


#3

I am married. I have 2 kids. Life is good except for my issues.


#4

No wife, No girlfriend, never even had sex, never mind a girlfriend. Im 38 now and don’t have much time for those things. What I amgrateful for is I have kissed a girl.


#5

Same here, except that I am 37 years old. Am not married, and will never get married.


#6

I was married for about 7 years and lived with her for about 10 years - It ended in divorce, she also has a mental illness - probably borderline personality disorder. Marriage with her was stressful and the divorce destabilized me, but I was not well during my married years - so I blame no one, not even me

Never say Never- you just never know


#7

Maybe I am overly confident…


#8

I had lot of girlfriends, i never told them about my illness, but they were disapointed with me that i dont do much. I am not active and i avoid meeting with her friends and going places with groups. That leads to brake up.


#9

i’m married. i was in a very stable period, but he’s stuck with me and i’m hopefully doing better again.


#10

I’ve been married for 38 yrs and have three grown kids. Life hasn’t always been easy but I try. One of my kids is showing some signs of mental illness but I pray it’s not


#11

I’m 30 and engaged to be engaged. We’re planning on one or two kids, a boy and maybe a girl (much easier to plan when you have to adopt), but first we have to get a house big enough to raise a family in. Right now we’re looking at apartments to move into together, so the whole children thing is a future plan, maybe in the next 5 years or so.


#12

Life is one day at a time. Married. Have one kid who is thirteen and it’s going well enough. Not planning on any more kids (didn’t plan on the first one, actually).

10-96


#13

Not married. Never go outside or to bars, never initiate conversations with girls. Online dating is useless. I still have hope to meet someone I’m 30, I think I look okay, maybe it’s the fact I’m on disability who knows. Actually I do know, I make no efforts in this department, I’m waiting for the right girl to come to me with open arms…


#14

Been married 5 years. No kids. We play together nicely most of the time. Money problems are an issue since we are both not working right now and we could only live off disability if we got rid of our car.


#15

been with boyfriend 7 years I don’t need to fork out a fortune for a ring and a “day” we love each other and our dogs.


#16

You need to get out there ekoms. I don’t like online dating either. I tried it for a bit once a long time ago but it didn’t seem like it was for me. Explaining your issues to a woman in a non threatening way is hard when you are online. Women always hear about how dangerous guys are. Especially guys on the internet so any hint of a problem and you won’t even get to talk to them probably. And if they don’t know they might leave when they get more than they bargained for.

I didn’t actively try to meet my fiancee (I was looking for a girl but it turned out the perfect person for me was a guy so keep an open mind. My first therapist told me she knew a lot of gay people and sometimes a straight person will meet someone of the same sex and they will just hit it off and fall in love. Sometimes gay people meet someone of the opposite sex and they fall in love. I look at straight, gay, ect as more of an odds thing. The odds that a gay person will meet someone of the opposite gender and fall in love are really low. But it does happen and it happens both ways.)

I started getting out there by running into one of my classmates from college and his brother at the grocery store. They invited me to come hang out with them and their friends at the local coffee shop. It wasn’t a “love at first sight” thing, at least for me. But after hanging around him (we belonged to the same group of friends) I began to respect him. It didn’t start out for me as physical or emotional attraction. From the way I saw him act- he kept his word, he hung out and talked to a bunch of homeless people who had come to the coffee shop with no hint of any sort of feelings of superiority or anything like that (my parents taught me to avoid homeless people because as a girl one haymaker to the face and I am out) so I was watching them closely because I wanted to talk to them but I was scared. After I had developed that tremendous respect I began to become emotionally attached to him and then physically attached to him.

But the moral of the story is that I would not have met this wonderful person if I hadn’t gone out. I don’t think that people meet life partners at the bar very often. Lots of times it seems (from what I have heard from other girls) that they met the person that they are dating through friends. They are the often the friend of a friend.


#17

yes…23 years to a dark lordess…!?!
" help me, please pretty please help me "…lol
take care :alien:…darth bunny :rabbit: just wet himself with laughter…!?!


#18

Thanks for the vote of confidence! :heart_decoration:

I’ve decided not to approach girls randomly in public, (though I’m sure it would be a surefire way to find someone I’d be attracted to) for the simple reason that while relationships have beginnings, they also have an end most of the time and it can be really hurtful. My pdoc says girls that are on dating sites are only interested in having a meal paid to them at the restaurant or the likes. I think it’s weird that I haven’t been in a relationship in a bit over 7 years just because I don’t look for encounters. I wish a girl would make the first step but it hasn’t panned out that way at all. I’m in sort of like a situation where everyone’s sulking in their little corner not willing to talk to each other.

I’m also suspicious that if I meet someone, she will end up not being the right person for me, and I’ll have to go through another heartbreak. I really want kids, just to leave a trace of my passage here on Earth when I die, to teach them good values and to not be so lonely. I see a lot of people on my Facebook (especially females) married and having kids, and I’m happy for them but I kinda get envious and wish it would happen to me too. But it seems so far away and tough to reach. :couple_with_heart:

I guess if I didn’t have high standards it would be easy, but I do need someone arousing. I’m sure, as you said that when I start studying or working and sort of begin to “mingle in” meeting the right person will be a walk in the park.


#19

Approaching people randomly, especially women, is very very rarely a good idea. With sz it is usually pretty apparent that something is going on with us. As a woman I can verify that since the age of maybe two, or even before that, we have been trained to stay away from odd people. It is very dangerous to be a woman out there. Every time that a guy has ever approached me randomly I get nervous. It seems like pretty much every girl I know has been raped at one point in her life. That might just be the area I live in but I don’t know. But it goes to show that these fears are no unfounded.

She might come up to you if you interest her and there is an excuse- you might be outside sketching or painting. It doesn’t always mean that she likes you, but it gives you a green light to chat with her. If you come back to the same place consistently around the same time and she often stops to talk to you that is a sign of either romantic interest or platonic interest. Both are good. Because if you start to hang out with her and her friends, even if she isn’t interested in you romantically one of her friends might become interested. Taking college courses (in a traditional classroom of course) is a great way to meet people. I know that college can be very hard for people with sz you don’t have to take a full load. Maybe just one or two a semester in something you are interested in. If you go somewhere to try to meet girls it often doesn’t work out. When you fall in love you often step into it unexpectedly. Just get out of the house and take up some sort of activity- music lessons, art classes, creative writing or literature classes. Miss Right isn’t going to just come knock on your door one day and ask to move in.

Exercise caution too there are some hurtful people out there. But love is a beautiful thing, sometimes even if you get hurt. I thought C was cheating on me one time and I was prepared to leave him. When I thought about it I realized that I was living him with gratitude. He has been nothing but good for me. Even my suspicions about him cheating did me good. I was about to go down in a paranoid spiral, but when I was looking at the phone to call him and accuse him after I had been presented proof by him and his sister that he was faithful I realized that my thoughts mirrored the ones that people come here to get help because their partner is having them. I realize that not everyone is like C. But I do think that even if you do love, and you do lose, you can still come out healthier. Not always, but if you have an honest healthy relationship but it just doesn’t work out it can still help you grow while it is going on. It might give you the confidence to get out there and make new friends who you can lean on if it does end.

I think that it is impossible to meet the right person the very first time you go out with someone. But it might lead to something better. Because my classmate’s brother was interested in me and I dated him I was always at the coffee shop on weekends even if C wasn’t there. In other words we met through someone else.


#20

29 nope, and nope.