i feel alone… its awful and worrying but the last 13 years i spent them at house pratically. i am in trt since 2011 but its just now that ive realised that meds doesnt do everything and i should struglle too. rest when i nedd, more activation when i can… i developped almost every symptom out there except the visual and auditive hallucinations but i had something near that (hypersensitivity to colors and sounds on some aps and hearing my heart in my ears and i thought that were the neiigbours walking ,its anxiety i think)…
who can beat this record? i ve lost everything and i am really difficult to go out now,i am paranoid…now i just try to talk more to my friends, to my mom, to watch movies, to think…did i lost a lot, i am beginning to get old and i am not sure if i will ever recover with this dark thirteen years behind me 
kiss to all 
You are getting old?
Lol Anna, how old are you?
Haven’t you read stories on this forum, about people battling for 20 or 40 years.?
Please, get away from that abyss of helplessness.
You are here now, so read and learn from the best 
yes,i am trying to get out of the helplessness by doing things. its the best that i ve learned for my case i am 33 years old, i wanted everything from life at the time and i couldnt progress because of this… now i am trying to avoid envy and hate etc… yeah, 20,40 years with the illness but did this people spent all this time locked at their houses? cause its my case here :/… and maybe i am from those whom meds dont help a lot… a friend of me told me they only help the physiology not the psychology of our brains
You are still young. And you look younger than 33 too which is a good thing. I hope you feel better. Have you started the new meds yet?
It’s not really a competition I suppose, and you are getting better. A lot of us here have a lot to complaint about and we do it here, just like you. Like @Sarad said, read and learn.
Also, you’ll be able to cope better with your symptoms over time, you’re probably coping better now than you were a few years ago. The path to recovery with this illness also goes through accepting our accomplishments. Learning how to get out of the “abyss of helplessness” starts by figuring out what good do we do for ourselves. If you can’t see any, start doing it.
@SzAdmin posted this a few days ago, it helped me heaps:
ok turning ive strated zyprexa 10 mg on 12 october… before i was just on 5 mg but it wasnt enough i suppose… i was doing a lot of somatisation at the time, i am trying not to attribute every discomfort and complaint to the med…i hope it wont give me terrible side effects as the others. its pitty that they dont help me much as for others but ill have to go through this also… ill watch a movie today-the theory of everything. yesterday i saw Love and Mercy about Brian wilson. it depressed me a little bit be he suffered a lot also…
yeah minnie, i hope i dont bother the other ones who are probably struggling better than me,yeah,oops 
take care both of you
e(Y)e Am Actually Older Then You ,
and You See How Ridiculous e(Y)e Am Sometymes so … ,
Well ,
So What (!!!)
am i the only schizo here who has locked himself for anything since 13 years? i just achieved to obtain a bachelor in these years,thats all… the other things were suffering wow…
I don’t do anything with my day, and it has been just over three years with this disorder/illness. Don’t care anymore either, though. Just listening to music & zoning out, it’s all I can do. No need for a “real life” anymore anyways. It’s all just useless work & pointless experience trying to regain middle-class strength again.
oh,for me its more than 13 years… but i wasnt in treatment. i watch the theory of everything now and am quite worried… if the meds dont work? i have been lost all hope but ive decided to struggle now… this guy in the movie is still alive but his brain is ok. while ours are not okay… two people told me that at my place they would prefer to be dead, suicided… it s hard to hear things like that…
Most people would commit suicide. They don’t have the guts to deal with SZ. If only everyone had to earn their right to live by enduring such hardship, maybe then people would actually be humble toward one another…
…but no, arrogant people who have barely dipped their toe in suffering are ones loud & proud and in charge. To hell with it, I don’t want to even know such peopel anymore. LIfe on easy mode? BS. Just total BS.
thanks mistercollie, i hope youre doing fine as well tomorrow i should wake up earlier to see a friend of mine here at my house. i still dont go out,its the toughest one this…yeah,but do you imagine? 20 years without serious boyfriend,without a lot of sex, and go outs? just me and my going in the deep. i am stopping here, we should to fight and i hope that meds will kick for all of us here better… sometimes i still get this feeling of my brain like toootally shuted up,i try not to pay attention to it but its really strange.
kisses mister!!!
yeah, i am the only one who is so screwed up here… i lived in hell with my family. ive never seen so much violence if it wasnt from my fother, it was soo sadistic. i lost my smile at the age of 12… now i should relearn to live but i have this heavy diagnosis… i am not like the other brave schizos out there who are dealing somehow with the world out there… i started to isolate myself at the age of 15 and now its ■■■■■■■ hard… i try to remain strong but i am tired and alone…i ve lost the ability even to speak, its hard for me
I hear you @Anna1 it seems time just keeps flying by and I sit day to day looking out my front door wondering…“is this all there is?” Time answers, “yes, I guess so”…I look forward to some kind of change but have no idea where it will come from. Good luck, Anna, you are still very young. I am 20 years older than you.
thanks jukebox,your thread comforts me… yeah, i was an animal,probably a monster once. but i never aggressed anybody though… on the other hand i was too good :)… we live in a crazy world, its not easy for anyone i suppose… now here is karma time but i hope ill go out of this cycle also… i still wanna hurt some people,tough life. thanks, take care
there are people in wheelchairs…who have to face the world.
there are people with terminal illnesses…who have to face the world.
i know someone who has been ill from birth…with chronic chrones disease with other stuff…she has to face the world.
i am on a sexual abuse forum…their stories are horrific…and they go out and face the world.
their are people in africa who have lost their parents to aids…they are left to look after themsleves…walk five miles to get water, alone…and they face the world.
we can all feel sorry for ourselves…but sooner or later we have to grow a backbone…and face the world…you can do this. 
take care 
yeah, i know darksith but i went through the incapacity to understand how other function without anger issues and dont suicide them… i lived like that for years. and my brain is still suffering because of this… i hardly understand still the others, now i am trying to protect myself from the suffering of others,lol… you should be fine if you understand the someone elses suffering,i still cant get it i need positive things right now i think and more philosophical thinking i guess. i was near death also-drugs,alcohol,sex etc
and i am sorry for those with sexual abuse, i had it too also and really early- 6 years old… i have problems with that still