When I first got sick, my thoughts were “I feel sad, I’m scared, I can’t think, can schizophrenics be successful, does schizophrenia drop your iq, I’m paranoid, I can’t leave the house, I can’t feel pleasure, people are hurting me, people are laughing at me, people are watching me, I can’t leave the house, etc.”
I had alogia, I couldn’t speak or think, I may have suffered from bipolar depression, I had every concievable symptom.
This is what people think: when will I get better, how can I work how can I get on ssdi…etc
I was bitter that it wasn’t an easier to deal with disease, I was all messed up, I hated having symptoms like alogia and poverty of thought. I had every single negative symptom. That was total bullcrap!
My brain never fully developed to get a grasp on poetry, I enjoy listening to interpretations but when I read the classics, its impossible to understand. Same with higher education literature
I never had a hallucination, I haven’t to this day, other than hypnagogic and hypnopompic hallucinations when I go to sleep.
Literally EVERYTHING else was an issue, I’m delusional and paranoid right now, I’ve always been even on atypical antipsychotics, I was delusional in the past, too.