Who am I ? Am I Good or Evil ?..a true story

When I was young I was beaten everyday as a child in school and at home. Sometime so badly I would bleed. I would never bruise or scar much.When I got older I abused Speed . I was in reality calming my self down due to my A.D.H.D. / Self medicating they called it.
When I got older 18 years of age I got married to a woman 10 years older than myself had 2 children and became very mentally unstable, thanks to her and her family and to myself as well due to my illness of Sz / Sz’a.
Then 5 years later I was forced to become homeless and lived a while with my illness ruling me.
Then at about 20 years of age I tried to commit suicide with a fire bomb. I got a felony for it and time served, and left the area to find another way to try to die or have peace from my illnesses.
Now I live with my gal which is another story within it’s self.
What do you think so far?
Am I evil or am I good ?
Am I a lost cause or possibly a mislead cause ?
What am I ?

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You’re a good guy @sweldon001 .

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You’ve been through a lot.
You are a good guy @sweldon001.

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I don’t see any “evil” there but 18 years old seems too young to marry and take on all that responsibility of a wife and two kids and all that goes with it. And no offense but I kind of wonder about a 28 year old woman who would marry an 18 year old. I wonder if she had issues with men her own age and I wonder a little if she had some motive that wasn’t apparent. I’m just speculating.

As to the good vs evil thing. I would just say that you’re troubled, but you’re troubled in your own way. After talking and knowing people who were homeless, I would say that maybe you had to do things you’re not proud of just to survive. It is what it is.

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I’ve eaten from dumpsters, never rob or stolen or killed or anything bad until I tried to die.
I however have fought people while homeless and keep them alive, and even made of few of them realize they where more than what they thought and help them start anew.
My kids are bad nowadays they rob,kidnap kill, steal extra…
My ex was a cop for a little while and is now remarried.
The new husband she has abused my kids from what the one said .
My life has been very very difficult and complicated…

@sweldon001
We all have a story. There are some things we’ve done well, and there are some things we’ve failed. We’ve all made mistakes, intentional and unintentional. We all have shortcomings, weaknesses, and inabilities.

Our character matters. Have we sought forgiveness from the people we hurt? Have we accepted responsibility and done what we can to make things right? Have we made commitments to learn from our past and do better in the future?

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@sweldon001
I’m sorry your life has been so tumultuous and painful. It does not need to continue to be this way. It will still be hard and bad things will continue to happen, but there are some things you can do to improve your life. “Do what you can when you can.” You can be available to your kids. You can tell them what you’ve learned in life. You can help them receive support, so they do not rely on unhealthy behaviors.

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