Where would you like to see yourself in a year? 5 years?

No, never been in the military. The “closest” you could say I’ve come to any kind of organization I’ve been a part of where they teach you certain skills would be a boy scout when I was younger.

I work as a delivery driver, I’ve been with the company for 6 months now, after not working for 17 years. After 2 years you become eligible for the pension plan, so I have to wait another year and a half. But it depends on if I am able to continue working in the future, for now I feel fine, and I only work part time so that will make the pension less than a full time employee. I am 43 now so I will be 45 when I become eligible for the pension plan, if I work part time for the next 20 years and retire at 65, I don’t think the pension will be very much, but it’ll be a lot better than nothing.

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1 year i would like to be exercising again and i would like to be 57 kg again.
57 kg is more realistic than 55 kg.

i would like to be able to drive more independetnally.

pretty much same as now but improved.

in 5 years i would like to be in love still spiritually with my closest loved ones, having telepathy and spiritual relationship cool calm and loving.

i would like my former step mum to know that we are so close and i adore her and appreciate her and she is closest or second closest to me i think.

i want my x in sa and i to have eternal love like swingers but only sex with one but open in our love that i can have a boyfriend i love and he a girlfriend he love yet we are special with each other anf favourites.

i am hopefully a animal rights activist and environment activist.

57 kg sounds good.

i would be homeless too very easily.

once i lived in my car even though i had a apartment to live in just because i was paranoid .
lived in my car for 3 weeks and showered in public showers by beach with cold cold water.
wasnt too bad.

thankfully i went back to apartment but had turned electricity off so was without a while.

i could easily become homeless for being “disobedient”.
i do not beleive anyone should bos me about without my consent , specially if they dont love me or know me.

if triggered i could “run away” from anyone trying to dominate me, supress me and boss me about and that way end up homeless.

hopefully i am still living in this apartment in 5 years because its affordable for me.

my favourite home was perfect home in the country with x and dogs.
it was perfect home.

i cant go back so i appreciate what i have here instead.

maybe the universe/god will give me better than i can imagine myself.

i think i will be in same apartment doing same things in 5 years.

hopefully all my loved ones are still alive.

i do not want to live with my boyfriend because he is in debt and if we move in together i get his debt and i get less pension plus he is very irresponsible and messy and goes to bed like 3 am and i go to bed 6 pm.
i love him dearly and a part of me has thought we could live together but the larger part of me thinks its a bad idea.

i think its better we just see each other weekends.

plus my land lady does not want anyone else living here and his apartment is me down grading big time.
its messy and rats and he doesnt take the rubbish out so theres trash all over his kitchen, boxes and bags.
its filthy.

if i was homeless i would live with him at his place.otherwise probably not.

he says he is tidy when he lives with someone but i dare not take his word for it.

my boyfriend is a incredibly beautiful person.very warm, sensitive, down to earth, loving but he is also messy and doesnt plan ahead etc.

maybe my boyfriend and i will last 5 years. wow. that would be a record for me.
i have never had a boyfriend that long.

he wants to live together but given the circumstances i think we shouldnt.

i would lose money if we lived together and we would have to see a lawyer so dont try taking things etc.

maybe in 5 years i will be doing what im doing now.

just going to the gym i hope and be 57 kg and vegan diet ofcourse for the animals and environment.
would love to be a activist.
be able to drive more indepentally.

i would love to dance rock n roll but cant find a place near me.

hopefully my fur babies are still alive too.

hopefully im more spiritual in a peaceful cool way.

dont know if i will ever marry.

my boyfriend is in debt and if i marry him i would be given his debt which is not fair.
also i love my x in sa most and wanted to propose to him but left him to become vegan so dont know if i could marry someone else.

i want a gothic wedding. yeay!

who would i marry?

golly knows but i do not want to take on someone elses debt or lose money by marriage.
i do not have any savings and am on the pension but can still lose money if marry someone in debt

a mixture of my x in sa, leonardo environment activist, a vegan and my boyfriend beautiful lover could be good.

i was really about to propose to my x.perfect home and perfect family him and dogs but had to become vegan to be true to myself. he has stunning hair to his bum and tattoos. so so hot.stunning.
im not over him. never will be.
noone ever loved me like he did.

i appreciate my boyfriend and love him and he is one of my favourites but my x in sa is favourite and formenr step mum and fur babies.

well probably not much different to what im doing now but hopefully lost 7 kg or so and exercising again and maybe taken up yoga if i can find a teacher i feel comfortable with.

would love to make some friends to hang out with and would love to go bush walking once a week.

if my boyfriend and i are still together i hope i can drive to his place all by myself.its scary but with practice i can hopefully do it.

I feel like a useless waste of space, idk if i’ll be alive in 1 year never mind 5, if i am idk what i’d be doing, idk if my radio gig is going to go anywhere, i’m a bit disillusioned by it but i want to keep doing college (i think) i feel like a useless twat, a drain on society :frowning:

Its hard to know what might happen

Seems like a guy content with his life, and he said some intelligent and wise things.

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i’d hate to be homeless, i couldnt do it :frowning: like why would i make my situation any worse than it already is? it doesnt make sense.

I dont plan so long forward…:face_with_monocle:

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I see it as making my life, myself, better. More capable. Less dependent on people, their attachments, my attachment to physical things. It’s about learning how adaptable I am. Learning how to be happy without luxury or privilege. Misery is a state of mind, not circumstances.

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But wouldn’t you still be dependent on others? Where would you get money for food, if you don’t have any of your own? Wouldn’t you have to depend on kindness and charity?

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No. I’m not going to panhandle and beg for money. I’ll have other ways of making money I can’t fully state here. There’s nothing sad or negative about it imo. It is not out of desperation, it is simply what I want.

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I know hwat you are trying to say but you will be cold and wet (it is here anyway) you might be dirty and have no money,

@fractaled: Hong Kong is a country with the highest life expectancy- 83 years. Maybe it is better to be homeless there, people seem intrigued by his lifestyle rather than bothered/ignored. The homeless here (California) are treated differently, largely because of their ethnic makeup (usually black and brown).

@Headspark: great that you are working. I didn’t know you could get a pension working part time. I have 2 part time jobs, both don’t offer anything by way of retirement or pension. I contribute into a IRA retirement account which I can access at age 65. Btw, I’m the same age as you- 43.

@SacredNeigh7: sounds like your goals are your weight and your relationships. Both take a fair amount of work, weight physical and relationships emotional. Wish you the best.

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And I’ll be fine.

I’ve been in worse, albeit different, circumstances.

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lol ‘on your own head be it’ i guess is the term,

idk how you’d get meds or what you’d do if unwell mentally, no support or anything

I realize my experience will be different from the video I shared. Drastically. But it did get part of my philosophy on the subject across.

Where I’m going I’ve been before. I couldn’t sugar coat it if I wanted to. The reality is harsh and unforgiving, and it’s what I want.

I don’t want meds. I don’t want to be dependent on a psychiatrist or the mental health system. Or any system which could quite literally take away my rights. I have a choice right now. If I wait a year, I probably won’t. I won’t let that happen.

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I’d be dead by now if i was on the streets, :frowning:

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I’m at peace with this potential outcome.

There have been several times I could I have died, but didn’t, and I’ve mostly always had a roof over my head. Death doesn’t care about your housing situation. Nor was it my housing situation which saved me

@fractaled: Sounds like you know what you want. Hopefully you’re in a warmer part of the world with winter on our heels. I couldn’t bear the cold and lack of running water. I think these two things alone keep me housed.

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only good thing about me is my flat, its the best thing that ever happened to me, thats why i am sceptical.

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I’ve had my own apartment for several years before. I’ve had a cushy corporate job. I had the nice car. None of it was fulfilling.

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