When you’re at your worst, what do you hold on to? I found strength in seeing beauty in the struggle of my life, by laughing to myself about good memories or listening to a song that captured my mood at the moment…just anything to make light of the state I was in, to reveal the beauty in the moment
This song captured the mood of a hard day of living with paranoid schizophrenia, it made me see beauty in my struggle
Monolith by Stone Sour
to be honest, if my wife died which she neally did of cancer ,i would have killed myself .i breath because she breaths.
but i try and laugh a lot.
take care
I’m glad to hear that she’s ok! I am also glad to hear that you’re married
my dogs, my sister and mum we have some great giggles and fun days out.
My worst days seem to be over with. Unless a relapse is in the cards. I suffered a lot at the beginning when I was 19-22. Now I’'m just plain miserable sometimes. But no suffering!!! No more going through hell!! But early on I didn’t have any tricks, coping mechanisms, or stuff I could tell myself that would help. I just went through it. I endured. Of course people were TRYING to help me. Nothing worked.But hey, that’s just me. Whatsoever works for other people is good for them.
I find hope in my family and my friends who have come back to me. Would it be too odd to say that I find hope with every day I have that is better then yesterday?
I was out of my head, rabid, drunk, high, tripping out, living in a park, un-medicated could barely recognize myself much less anyone who was trying to help me. I could barely tie my shoe much less communicate. I almost succeeded in clocking out of this life.
Now I have a job, an apartment, an the ability to heal, and the ability to start school again. Clean, sober and more lucid then I have ever been.
I didn’t get here alone. I have a huge team on the J preservation society. My family and especially my sis is why I’m still breathing. But everyday I can hang on; I have more hope then the day before.
I find strange coping methods…some typical alcohol and nicotine self medication but I was also obsessed with exercise, which my docs found absurd
Its been a long time since I weathered my worst. I find ways to make it better. Also vow never to be at my worst again.
Don’t take this the wrong way, but to use an old AA saying: Alcohol and drugs are not part of the solution they are part of the problem.
I do not know, if I ever want to find hope, but I live just one day at the time without any future plans or objectives. I know the life is important and during my family tree research I discovered my father had a very active and lively life in his youth and earlier years, but today he sleeps in the bed at the elderly care facility while nurses are trying to feed him. I may commit a suicide before I would ever go to the elderly care facility. I am glad my father lived his life fully, although he had also sz. Once I talked him out of the psych ward. I find my happiness in some good music such as these 13-year old Jasmines in London who sing so beautifully:
Please don’t ever thinking about killing yourself. You have to consider what is on the other side when you end your life. God doesn’t want you to do that. Your special because you do suffer with this mood disorder. You will be rewarded in heaven for enduring such hardship…
Your too good to try and kill yourself. Remember God is wanting you to endure till the end. You will be rewarded for acknowledging his son Jesus…
I don’t set my hopes too high anymore. When I was at my worst being in nature was something to live for. I was a part of it all.
I haven’t find my hope yet.
Nature gives me hope, so does my writing and music. And being able to manipulate my own universe
Where do I find hope?
Exactly where I left it, everytime.
Ive been sober for 6 months, im on meds. I should have used the past tense there, whoops!
in greek mathology there is the first chapter of the story of creation, goes something like this,once upon a time at the start of the creation of excistence, pandora had a wonferful time a life filled with so much happiness and joy… pandora was told not to open a specail box but curiousoty got the better of her and decided to open the box, she opened it and all of sudden she felt the knowlege of good and evil and all the bad things came into excistence, and all that was left in the end of the box was '‘HOPE’
I used to be into mythology. I was in the knowledge bowl in grade school because I was the go-to guy on mythology. I particularly like the pandora’s box story- it reminds me of what schizophrenia feels like. You get all these horrific problems, its basically like living in hell, but there is hope amidst all of the delusions, hallucinations and feelings of gloom and apathy. Even when I was at my worst, and we all have been there, I clung to the hope of one day being free from this disease…you and I, Pedro, are some of the few and lucky; we are in remission, our hope came through.
the Rocky IV movie where he is training to fight the russian, i can relate to that movie story line, my training is different though i’m in training to keep well, by adding all positive things to my journey.