U will feel better soon sri my dear friend…!!!
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These reappear with medication and therapy and time. The fact that you are able to hold down a good job is an incredibly good indicator that you can achieve fantastic recovery in other areas as well. Don’t give up before you achieve these successes.
Suicide only takes your misery and transfers it to others after multiplying it. It is one of the most evil and thoughtless things you can do to the people you leave behind. Suicide is not an answer.
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you can go deep in your mind. no other place is so quiet & peaceful.
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I went so deep that i lost myself. Maybe i should be more cautious.
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if you had lost your self, you wouldn’t have problems. maybe loose it more. go deeper.
all places are noisy. all relationships have troubles. only in your mind you can find peace.
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I think of virginia wolf as you say these words. The blistering jolt and noises of the city makes me want to go crazy. Such a beautiful soul with sz but in the end she drowned herself.
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Is there a quiet park or graveyard in your city? 
Both are quiet in my city. I used to be at parks when jobless. Not sure why ask for graveyard. To bury me??
Nono, I ask because they are very quiet places to relax.
Graveyard is little scary. I prefer parks. But still when i go with family and friends i get crazy thoughts. Alone i can manage somewhat.
Erez i support u on this one…med are necessary to be honest …
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There is some eeriness about taking meds. I already lost most of my family and friends. So even if i take meds whats the point. It reminds me of a dialogue from Matrix, What good is a phone call if you are not able to make the call??
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Even i feel the same @Erez_Shmerling
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You could try a completely different culture. I had a psychotic episode wherein I felt my self to be just my voice no more no less, and felt others in my culture (UK) believed it. Then I came to Japan where it seems people think they are their bodies or self-image. This is perhaps no less silly, perhaps, but it made me feel better.
Suicide doesn’t change life, it ends life, and all the things you wanted are just gone. As long as you’re alive you have the ability to make changes and life choices.
It sounds like you need a break from routine. You may not even need to change everything. Maybe change one thing to start.
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When in doubt, go forward.
Now i feel like a tsunami has hit me and i am virtually dead. Everything is upside down. Cant express my feelings properly. No one even gives a damn about it. More i try to explain my problems more i fail. More i dont try i feel so guilty and express something stupid.
@timtak @Hedgehog @shutterbug RESPECT… I can understand. Feels like deja vu. Been there done that yet something screws me from nowhere. Life gave me many chances but i could not use it. From outside everything worked and works towards me. But from inside its like a abandoned factory already.
Meds have given me hope for few months but cant see the difference from the way the world looks at me or way i look at the world. Always i hear painful words, see harsh realities and my own take on it seems so lazy stupid unreasonable and unpardonable. HELL in every moment.