When, why and how

i’m standing in line!
standing strong and tall
this is my final stand
and maybe my final fall

i smile towards my family
and wish away my friends
i wish they wern’t around
when this day could be my end

i try to look brave
as i step towards the beast
(inside i’m madly shaking)
knowing it’s waiting for a feast

i take a deep breath
as it stares through me
i can’t help but wonder
what this beast must see

the spectators can’t tell
but its probing me inside
its clawing through my soul
to the places my demons hide

deep inside my weak mind
it’s collecting all my memories
anything that it can find

i fall to my knees
too weak to fight anymore
i give up, go on, take me
my broken body falls to the floor

the audience watch in disbelife
‘nothings happened they shout!’
but they will never see
what this pain is about!

the fight is all inside!
where noone can help you win
and and every time it strikes
it brakes you deep with in

but! the beast isn’t finished
today is not the end
though i am to weak to fight
it backs down so i can mend

but i know its all its plan
and it may back off for now
but it will strike again
its just when, why and how