When is paranoia real? Hope for some help, suddenly.... very worried

HI

I think i’ve been an arse and they talk about me behind my back…

I think people are pulling away from me and putting their feet down and deciding i’m rubbish and not worth working with

I have been an arse but i don’t know how to apologise

I don’t know how to apologise when i don’t know what the exact problem with me is

I’m so stressed and my sister gave me a lot of abuse this morning with reasons for why i’m not a nice person

I feel i’ve driven everyone away because i’m not a nice person.

intending to delete this message before an hour

Hi

i don’t know any more
i’ve shat on people and i deserve it
I really think i can’t do this without the support of understanding people and they have stopped understanding

I’m trying to deal with this without disturbing anyone against me…

Someone pulled out of my monologue play that is going to be shown in 3 weeks if i can find a replacement - i was a hole to her by mistake i’m not so stable

It sounds like your having a rough day…

I hope you feel better soon… there are people in your life who do support you…

Good luck and I hope you feel better soon…

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That really sucks. I understand how you’re feeling.

Is your sister friends with the people you’re worried about? And how is your relationship with her generally?

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She’s angry and alcoholic

no not friends

Here’s my recommendation: go to the person you’re closest to in this group of people, even if you think that person might be angry at you. Ask them if they would mind talking with you about something that’s worrying you. Explain that you are worried that you have hurt or upset people, and this bothers you, because you haven’t meant to do so. Give examples of why you think this might be true. Maybe tell them about what your sister said.

If your friend doesn’t agree that there’s a problem, say you’re glad to hear it, because even if you’re not always good at interacting with people, it’s important to you that you don’t hurt or upset your friends. Then even if there is a problem, your friend may report back to the upset person that you’re worried and trying.

If your friend agrees that there is a problem, try to listen to what they say and think about it before responding. Once you have the information, you can decide what to do from there.

Are your friends aware of your MI?

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I always find this so hard. Sometimes I can be brave enough to ask, but sometimes I really can’t. I’m just telling you what I wish I had done when this has happened to me.

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Thanks

I’m re reading your post, good advice.

No one will answer my texts or calls so with no response I am left waiting to be called or texted.

They are aware of it yes, but I’ve been a very much hole to these people and I’m not sure if i’m just getting my reaping what i’ve sown

Waiting is just the worst. I’m so sorry you’re going through this. If you can find something else to distract you from thinking about it in the meantime, do that (wishful thinking!) If you can’t, maybe you can write about it? Turn it into something productive.

I don’t know what you (think you?) did, but the way this is going to work is if you think, “I want to know what to change so I don’t hurt these people again” and not, “I want to know what to do so they’re not mad at me any more.”

And also, it might all be paranoia! Whatever it is, I hope you feel better soon. :purple_heart:

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Your post make me smile.when I was younger all I could think about was how not to piss people off… Now I know that I’m the one who has to change… It’s funny you should say that because it just makes it that I don’t want to be an arsehole and if I am… I want to change it

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