I was writing emails to someone on the opposite coast. She couldn’t have understood a ton, but I felt I was getting swarmed and teamed up on by people who at the very least were passively rooting for my demise.
In the email I kept referring to these ‘enemies’ as “pee-pee dancers” as in they couldn’t get their (twisted) form of release until I died.
This was psychosis.
Anyway I was off balance, visited a watering hole, ordered a drink,(didn’t drink it), but over heard someone say they’ll have “a Pinot”. You know like
I tipped a 10 spot because I thought I was saying to the bartender “You’re a ten”(It was gender neutral I had been doing a bit of this, to maintain likeability);
I left the bar and went to the store for smokes, the cashier’s name tag said “Mark” and I thought it was (For me!) saying I was in fact a target!
I was hospitalized the very next day… And while endlessly waiting for the social worker they offered me Rainbow Sherbert(sp). My mind interpreted this as
It didn’t help that Adele’s “Set Fire to the Rain” was coming over the airwaves; this was 2012.
@anon39054230… this was my scariest time and I’ll always stay on meds… I hope the elaborate specifics of my psychosis assist you in your time. It can be so much better.
Look at me now… I’m Mr. Stay Puft, we know he doesn’t make it to the end of the movie(for one thing
: )). I’m not scared anymore of any of this.