What's your opinion about my diagnosis

I like to label everything, it gives me meaning. I’m trying to figure out what was going on with me before the schizophrenia. When I was 13 I developed severe depression and entered the mental health system. I don’t remember much but I also had delusions and intense paranoia. When I was 15 I started having visual hallucinations. I was diagnosed schizoaffective, depression with psychotic features, bipolar, and borderline personality disorder at different times.Everything seemed to go away in my early twenties and I went off of all my meds. I did great for a couple of years, but then I started having visual hallucinations here and there. I don’t remember much up until I was 26. I was having the severe depression again and I thought God was commanding me to choose whether I lived or died. Like if I was truly going to kill myself do it whole heatedly and not half ass. I had terrible insomnia too. I begged my mom to let me just kill myself and that’s when we decided the hospital would be the best place. While in the ER I was waiting for a bed and saw a cop down the hall. I don’t remember much but I approached him from behind and tried to take his gun. I was completely calm the whole time even when they cuffed me and put me in four point restraints I just did everything they said. There was a demon standing behind me the whole time. After they left the room a female cop came in and talked to me but I didn’t say much to her. For the next few hours I saw in my mind that cop standing down the hall way in my mind but it was so vivid it was like I was seeing her through my eyes. I called out to her pleading her to come talk to me for what felt like hours. I was sent to a state hospital. After that the depression went away and I haven’t felt it to this day. I entered the realm of psychosis nothing like what I experienced before. Every second of the day I was psychotic. I couldn’t function, couldn’t leave the house, couldn’t think. I started getting ECT two years ago and it made a huge difference I’m like a different person. But I wonder if I developed schizophrenia at 26 what was my diagnosis before then? Was it depression with the prodromal phase of the illness? The reason I don’t think I’m schizoaffective is because I haven’t had depression for years, years even before the ECT which also treats depression.It’s something I’ve always wondered. For women they don’t develop the illness until late twenties and something definitely switched in my brain at 26. What’s your opinion? And if you have read this far congratulations you get a sticker.

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Firstly, thank you for my sticker. As regards your diagnosis, just ask your shrink. You could be schizophrenic or maybe your diagnosis is psychotic breaks. Its hard to say. In my opinion schizophrenia diagnosis should include hearing voices. Do you hear voices

Karl can a diagnosis be as you said there '‘psychotic breaks’?

Psychotic break is just a period of psychosis, whether that psychosis is schizophrenia or not.

It’s interesting how even ECT effects people differently. I’m glad it worked for you.

Every time I read that you had ECT, I cringe. I had ECT at 17 and WOW did it NOT work out for me. Mine was bilateral and my parents were talked into it because I wasn’t responding to anything when I was hospitalized the fist time. I didn’t finish the course of treatment because my parents could see after the first two zaps I was a mess. I completely forgot who they were for a while.

My label changed multiple times. ADD, OCD, PTSD, Schizoaffective, on and on until I ended up with my undifferentiated SZ badge.

I personally don’t get too fanned up about the label on my folder. As long as the meds fix me and I can make it through my day I’d don’t care what you call me. Personally I still believe I’m more schizoaffective due to the swing.

I’ll swing from positive symptom to negative. But once in positive, I’ll swing again from a manic to a depression. But what ever I believe myself to be, my meds are working.

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@karl I have heard voices but not that much. Not all schizophrenics hear voices only 85% of them do. If you just have bizarre delusions you can be diagnosed with schizophrenia. Check the criteria. I don’t think it is psychotic breaks because it was constant for two year up until I got the ECT and even for a while after that I was still hallucinating and delusional everyday it just wasn’t so intense. I wold have the demon scream at me. He communicated telepathically. I couldn’t hear what he said but knew exactly what he was saying. @SurprisedJ I’m sorry you went through that. I get unilateral ECT, I coudn’t imagine bilateral.

If you don’t mind me asking, do you remember how you feel when your just coming around?

I just remember huge amounts of brain pain, (the biggest headache I’ve ever had.) There was also disorientation and nausea. I puked for 30 minutes after each session.

That sounds horrible. For the first 5 or 10 minutes after I wake up I can’t understand what anyone is saying to me. The one time I was disoriented for a while. I do get a really bad headache after that lasts until the afternoon. I don’t get nauseous or anything though.

I went through a lot of diagnoses too. First it was major depresssion, the depression with psychotic features, then schizoaffective with depression, and then finally, the last one I had was chronic paranoid schizophrenia. I don’t hear voices, by the way, but I have had violent intrusive thoughts for about a year.

@CarolineC what are the intrusive thoughts like? I get thoughts to hurt my mom or my dog and my doc said they were ruminations.

I get the same type of thoughts. I’ve never heard of ruminations before. Maybe that’s what I have.

where is my sticker ?
are you going to send me the sticker ?
what’s on the sticker ?
these are all questions i would like answered sometime in the future ?
take care

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I will look into how I got a sticker and if I can get one for you I will. Something red with edging maybe? :name_badge:

what might you want your sticker to say?

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it has to have black and red as the colour on the edging and silver writing in the middle , like a badge, and saying something like ’ i am dark sith, sheriff of the universe(s) .
that would be cool.
take care

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A lot of psychiatrists and psychosis experts I talk to say they don’t worry too much about the exact diagnosis and instead focus on the person’s symptoms and their quality of life. If those two areas are improving then it doesn’t matter what the diagnosis is. And - as many discuss here - diagnoses will change over time, don’t get too hung up on them.

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i dont know either.

i am ticking boxes all day long, i could have this condition and that condition.
yet i dont think i had them all since i can remember. they must have been states
some coupled, with others. or at least that is what i think.

it could also be that the classification/the labels are all wrong.
and that is what i suspect.
yet you cannot say too the doctors, etc
that they are wrong…

I just got diagnosed with schizophenia i had 4 admissions to hospital tried to kill myself cause god commanded me to. I haven’t worked for 4 years. i don’t know what to do with my life

Since you had delusions + intense paranoia at 13 and hallucinations at 15 it is possible that your schizophrenia started at that age and that you were in remission in your early twenties. It is possible to be free of positive symptoms for a while without meds.

I agree that it’s not good to get hung up in diagnoses but normal interest is healthy in my opinion.

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