What’s the worse thing about being schizophrenic? For me the hallusinations were horrendous then after the psychosis gone strugeling to shower.
I hate being as sensitive as I am. I feel like I can’t handle anything.
For me it is not being able to control the nonverbal signals I send out. I send out some hostile, offensive nonverbal signals that I really don’t want to send out. With a lot of people I get some return hostility, but then they decide I can’t help it, and they stop being offended. However, that terrible habit I have of sending out is relentless. It doesn’t stop. Occassionally people who weren’t offended become offended, but mostly people are content to leave me alone.
For me it’s all the evil things my brain makes. As a kid it was definitely my paranoia as well my fear kept me up all night long.
Condescending smiles from people I run into. Store, restaurants, gas stations sometimes. Not often but it’s annoying.
Oh well, I can take comfort in that my sister told me a week or two ago, that I am a lot nicer than a lot of people she knows who don’t have this disease. She’s 60 years old and I’m 57 but she also told me that I am one of the most inspiring people she knows. And she’s traveled a lot and she knows a lot of important people.!
Being dependent on medication for every thing.
Without my antipsychotics I would be institutionalized. I need my Wellbutrin to even feel blah. Never feel good but without it it’s worse. Need benzos as a prn for the anxiety and paranoia. I can’t even get to sleep on my own anymore. I would be a wreck without my sleeping pills.
Having my life ambitions be sidelined and replaced with schizophrenia-related ones.
No, I don’t want to necessarily hear angels 24/7, no offense to the angels. Wish I could put them on speed-dial or something.
Thank God for antipsychotics and a good, healing diet.
Saying inappropriate things or “weird” things sometimes and have people just stare at me or comment about it.
I really don’t know. The hallucinations ate awful and even terrifying but the dopiness, memory loss, dependence on meds, feeling like you don’t belong to this world or with any of the people in it, that I’m too sensitive, that I say weird ■■■■, that I can keep up with the lifestyle I’ve chosen, falling asleep in public…the list is fairly long.
Saying something unconsiously rude, and not realizing it till 2 hours later.
Having to ask people to repeat themselves sometimes multiple times because the beings are louder.
Relapses alot of the time
Sz clearly directs me away from sociality, but at the same time it focuses me on the research, writing, and projects that I do which I’d never have done if it were not for sociality sparing me from the hype of sociality and fallacious belief systems.
It is the hard path less taken certainly not by choice but certainly accompanied by purpose.
4 me the hardest part was recovering… Most of the mania and delusions were pretty fun, but the hospital and frustration of getting out of it was tough
Oh and loosing friends and not knowing how to reconnect…
For me the worst thing is I can’t work stable. I hope this time I can do my job a little longer, but as to the difficult I faced in work, maybe I can’t conquer it. Can’t earn money to make a life myself make me feel emebarassed.
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