What's the hardest part of this illness for you?

The stigma is too much for me. I lie about my diagnosis unless I’m talking with my doctors. Although a neurologist told me I don’t have sz. He thinks me believing things and seeing/hearing things is a form of intrusive thought/OCD. He also thinks I notice I’m being followed because I’m more in tune with my environment than other people.

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Not working/having a fulfilling good paying career.

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Paranoia definitely.

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Voices,paranoia,delusions, hallucinations.mood swings.

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Right now I’m having this nerve pain and it keeps me up all night. I’m constantly trying to sleep during the day, usually unable. Been to many doctors and they think it’s from my schizophrenia med. Been trying different meds but it seems they all cause this pain.

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I feel the same way. It is really hard to make plans when you are not sure if you are going to be sane or not.

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Being easily overwhelmed

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Being prone to stress, being easily overwhelmed, lack of motivation.
So many things to choose from.

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Not being able to get outside of my mind. Anyone else feel/felt like that?

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I do @tstripe. I also feel I don’t get a break from me.

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Well said @Air. It’s hard to commit because I have no idea what symptom I will have.

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Yea i just am thinking its the end and a new world order is coming and im scared shittless bc i married satan. That’s all. Its so ■■■■■■ up. Bc im christiam bit im cursed. I feel a pull and I want so badly to get married but im afraid God will shorten my life or I’ll go to hell bc theres already a pre destined plan and I have to submit and I feel like its really unfair bc I really love Jesus. I’m super Christian like I love JC

Harder to love and make it special for my girlfriend. Being able to gym properly and live s life. Also the fact that I’m part of this big experiment and seeing scientists and hearing them speak all the time but that’s separate from the illness

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But like what if God is all like its cool adela youre not cursed youre okay. But im so afraid. I feel like i go to heaven if I comply with what God wants or im wrong. Im paranoid and schizo
So just hoping that its all a big ass JOKE THAT IS BEING PLAYED BY SOME PPL TRYING TO MAKE ME FEEL LIKE I HAVE A SENSE OF PURPOSE AND THAT MY LIFE REALLY ISNT GOING TO END. IM STRUGGLING SO MUCH RN. Ive been.to hell and back over this crap and I’m very afraid. Its a religious sickness obviously. And im not totally screwed.
I have been such a good person I love JC. We go way back. Im wondering if GD gives authority you can change it. Please. Bc I loved him, but I’m Coolio now bc like I don’t wanna anger the big alpha omega but im like really certain that i screwed myself
Or its just a gnostic religion that i was dreaming not visions and hes not pulling a puppet game… Im not a hamster on a wheel.

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You’re doing fine. You’re just trying you’re best.
And plus don’t believe what psychosis tells you.
Just think for yourself logically. Anyways it’s just IMHO.

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I’m not compliant… I can’t i know my fate. And its sealed supposedly. But imma change it. I don’t want to die
I have an illness but I wouldn’t ever kill myself for it. I hate life sometimes but… Look, I am selfish to.an extent.and i love my babies I really.cherish them. They are my life. If somethong happenrd to m3 they wouldn’t have a mom. Even if im psycho amd I’m cursed.
I’m Coolio bruh bc I was DOING FINE UNTIL DECEMBER 8TH WTF.

Devils advocate YOU HAVE A CHOICE I BELIEVE IN FREE WILL. YEA ITS ALL LIKE CALCULATED BUT I have a choice. I have free will. Thank you…

Yea sometimes it does feel calculated. But I don’t understand how that would be if that’s the case. Ive been psychotic recently and it is scary. What’s the calculation in that?

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Dp/dr, when severe, makes things seem unreal and mechanical. It feels like there is no free will. Some people dont believe in free will. Maybe we can have free will in a deterministic universe, I dont know.

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Deterministic universe?