What's going to happen to me. I'm scared

I was diagnosed with schizophrenia 15 years ago, but have only just become clear of the delusions and hallucinations. I didn’t believe I had it until now. I’m learning lots about it but I feel so limited now. I feel like the illness has destroyed my intellect. I have nothing to discuss with people because I haven’t been interested in anything but working on “fighting evil” for a long time. Now that I’m clear I want to move on but I feel absolutely stupid now. It’s very difficult to learn and I can’t seem to processs what’s happening in my environment very well. I also have a very bad back and can’t do things like gardening or cooking–activities that are more physical than intellectual. I’m in the hospital right now and going to a group home and I don’t know how I’m going to look after myself let alone be happy.

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Remain here, things will be OK​:bouquet::bouquet::love_letter:

Oh, I’m so sorry you’re frightened, honey. A group home is a good place for you - hopefully there will be other people there who share your concerns, and you can help each other.

Do you have a social worker or anyone else helping you with the transition? These would be excellent concerns to bring to them. Also see if there’s any sort of physical therapy you can do for your back.

A big hug and best of luck to you :four_leaf_clover: (also, I love your username.)

Please hang in there @lioness
I’m going to a “Group Home” soon myself.
This is so I can become more independent.

There will be people there that will help take care of you.

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I had some major loss of intellect because of my illness and I understand that it is terrifying. The neurologist told me my IQ was about 50 points lower than it had been before I got sick. Like you, I wasn’t using my intellect constructively for years and I couldn’t find my own dishes in a home I lived in.
Eventually, I forced myself into college against the advice of others and after a period of working my ass off, I began to be like a regular student. Later, I excelled. I’m working on my second master’s degree now and I cannot tell you how much easier it has become for me to understand things. I’m not afraid like I was. I thought I had Alzheimer’s.
The brain is amazingly resilient. You can build it up to work better over time but it requires consistent effort, just like if you were trying to build up the muscles in your legs. Maybe start with some free online tutorials or classes? It was better for me to have a teacher, rather than try to learn independently and I imagine that would be true for most. Fish oil and niacin have helped, too. The DHA fish oil, though. The other stuff isn’t as good for the brain.
Sorry, I am typing too much. But I know how you feel and I hope this might be of some use.


This is really good advice, @Wendy.

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Thanks Rhubot. Been-there done-that. After having been there and done that, I think it’s really sad that no mental health professional suggested I attempt to improve my situation by forcing my brain into activity. Those first two years of college were probably the most beneficial thing I have ever done for my illness. My brain bounced out of a decade-long slumber and it turned out that the wacky thing could still work; it just needed regular encouragement.

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