What's behind "I don't have the time." when one really does?

For me, it is because I feel dead in the head.

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I just have been in this funk lately. I pretty much refuse to do EVERYTHING. I mean I’ll just flat say no to everyone. I hardly do anything anymore over being so fed up with what I’m going through. I need to cheer up but lately I haven’t found a way.

I really have alot of time, and even though I’m much slower and weaker than I used to be I should make the best of my time.

Maybe if I just finish this coffee…

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Just because someone might wish we were dead doesn’t mean we are.

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There’s plenty of hallucinatory assault going on that makes me miserable. I just am not in a good mood right now and it feels like I don’t have freedom of thought at all. Like everything I think is being monitored and recorded by a bunch of perverted people. I don’t know what to do right now, so I do nothing. They keep hitting me in the face, it’s hard to make the best out of things sometimes.

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There’s a lack of confidence going on here. The best thing we can do for each other on this forum is to believe in each other.

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I’ve been getting alot of help though, and having a public announcement of the sexual and physical assault I experience from the illness brings me a bit of peace. I want people to know what I have to deal with every day. It stinks.

It wasn’t always this way, I was having normal friendly hallucinations until they put a bunch of vicious generals and government officials inside of my head. It has turned really sour and it’s trying my patience.

I hope that I can knuckle down and just deal with it, but something tells me that it’s been too much too long. I just don’t want them to break my mind and hypnotize me into doing things for them. I’m sort of afraid of losing my mental identity.

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spoil yourself, that’s what I’d do.

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Maybe things feeling like a lot of effort, so room for less during day than others. Maybe motivation. Or day seems to go quick. Thinks take longer for someone than others… guesses. Maybe not actually about time, but more about energy.

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When I ‘don’t have the time,’ I mean 'take a number please, and I’ll be with you as soon as I can.'
Literally: No time por nada.

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I have lost alot of energy like you. Lately I just have had the worst attitude, and I don’t want to take care of myself like shower or eat breakfast. I’ve not been depressed I feel, this was because things were done to me that if I never spoke of these things no one would know and it would just get worse.

I’m trying to keep loving feelings but I’m being back stabbed by a group of people in my hallucinations that conspire to imprison me and slander me. They seek out things to justify abusing me and they don’t really do a really good job at either. I’m fed up. I’ve told them all of the information and they keep abusing me still.

Clearly a bunch of sadistic perverts.

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I have been really busy in my mind for over thirty years, even when it looks like I’m just sitting staring into space. I’m busy. If I take on too much, I crash.

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I almost crashed my car today. I’m light sensitive in the eyes, and the heater was blowing full blast and blew dust into them. My eyes swelled and teared up and I couldn’t see hardly anything. I immediately turned the blower off and wipes my eyes and held my hand over the direct sunlight. I was going to get starbucks btw. I don’t agree with the corporation, but I love their coffee keeps me right.

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That happened about 745 this morning.

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I have plenty of time but no motivation or energy, everything is a lot of effort. And on top of it all i am trying to deal with my own mind, which is a full time job. I try to move forward with connecting with people, so I do that with facebook, that alone is overwhelming. Contributing to my household is very difficult but I do what I can. So when a friend calls to have coffee, I don’t have time feels real to me beucase all my time is being absorbed into all this. Self care illness management and tryign to function in a family is full time.
Sorry to hear what you are going through that would definateley take a lot of energy of every kind. I hope that somehow you are able to fight for any self care you need so you arent so mentally burned out by the horrible hallucinations.
It can also take me a long time shower and eat if I can. It takes me about 2 - 3 hours to eat and sometime the whole day to get motivated for a shower after trying all day. Taje good care.

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yes. i can relate

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Hedgehog, I’m scraping by day to day. I don’t know if I can take this for thirty years.

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You got a reminder that you’re alive.

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I’ve been known to flourish in ■■■■ piles and buttholes of the world like afghanistan but I’m not going to let my mind be their toilet for that long they will not win I will drive all of them out bleeding out of their anus’.

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You can and you should stay on this planet, @neveragain, because you’ll be amazed at how strong you are and how wonderful the littlest things can be. You have a unique perspective. You’re not one of the clones out there (the “normal” people). Outside of the realm of normalcy is inspiration, insight and creativity. There’s suffering, but after 36 years of wanting desperately to leave, I finally understand that it was worth it to stay.

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