Is it just not feeling homicidal/suicidal,not having delusions, not having hallucinations, not being recklessly manic?
Or is there something more to the state of being ‘all right’ that mental health services tends not to acknowledge such as not being isolated within your community, not having difficulty interacting with others . Maybe those things are social not psychiatric problems, but isn’t there a social aspect to what makes people feel (socially)anxious,hopeless and worthless,paranoid,trapped on the furthest margins of society, that psychiatry should have as part of it’s remit?
I guess when you reach the chronic stage,devoid or virtually devoid of acute symptomatology , this is the way it is. If psychiatry can’t heal you quickly then it reduces it’s efforts and puts you on the back burner.
I still get intensely angry at times, but I still feel some contentment, and that makes my life “all right”. There are a lot of aspects of my life that I enjoy. Drinking is an issue with me. I enjoy drinking, but I feel worse later. For the sake of my contentment I need to quit.
Good post @firemonkey - I am pretty sure that my current psychiatrist likes to deal with the acute/emergency type symptoms - full blown mania, deep psychosis, deep depression, you know the acute emergency type symptoms that need immediate medical intervention. Right now I personally am not doing so well - I am more irritable, less tolerant of others, angrier, less patient, moodier than usual - but I am not over the top, displaying emergency type severe symptoms.
She seems to be the type to play it cautious, maybe too cautious. I mean just because I am not severely manic - depressed or psychotic does not mean that I am doing ok. She refuses to treat these more chronic less intense symptoms in me. She seems to be telling me that because of my schizoaffective/bipolar I should expect these bumps in the road - it is either all or nothing when it comes to medication management with her. I do realize that my liver is sensitive and i do have diabetes, so she is cautious with medications, but she also has to understand that I do not know if I can manage to continue living my life in a healthy fashion the way that I am now
Social therapy is important. Even though without work, I will try to walk along the street, at least to have certain degree of exposure.
Wonder why hostility and suspiciousness are still my persistent symptoms now.
well theres a thing called the neuropsychosocial feedback loop; neurology, psychology and sociology all effect each other
Is psychiatry, with it’s over reliance on medication as a solution , really that interested in sociological factors?
Even after the diagnostically ‘relevant’ symptoms have become less acute/prominent there’s still a social effect that psychiatry by and large ignores.
Unfortunately, ALL of the mental providers here are very condescending if you are doing okay & still functioning. These folks do not have a job if you are okay. (This applies to govt mental health clinic & all their droves of ‘chattel services’ employees, the social groups for mentally ill, the private pdoc practices and all the social services FEEDING here.)
The care has done nothing but ruin me & things have worsened as of late with psych care as a whole as it seemed they are trying to ruin every last bit of function & motivation left of the schizo victims…I think we are 100% on our own. Even the social worker therapists have turned out to be nothing but interventionists with zero training on coping skills or maintaining function…
Worse, I’ve met some of the mental health clinic workers while out socially with other friends and these folks will ‘gang stalk/cause stalk/thought broadcast’. You need to know this term to be okay so Google it please. When I worked at the govt mental health clinic a while, it was noted some of the part-time psychotic employees would not admit they hear it some of the time & would set themselves to bothering specific patients. You know these things are called delusions by the care and used to make someone confused worse…This is just practice. If you get angry with your mental care provider, you will be forcably hospitalized for months maybe at your own expense even acting normally and this usually results in unemployment but even homelessness + at the mercy of the chattel services people at the govt clinic.
The churches (non-denominational & pentacostal) do tell some of their parishioners to follow orders from God & bother people on the check…
I really don’t want any attention from the mental care & have been able to avoid it by leaving the cause of my nervous breakdown (local group of sex abusers looking to keep the abusers busy), defending myself against discrimination by policy with my complaints about the resulting vandalisms/stalkings/huge financial damages, socially avoiding any of the mental care workers and finally dropping almost all group social activities and church where I could not afford to expose myself to another person’s problems. It is shockingly bad how someone will treat another person & even ruin their employment to get a mistress & you realize all around them are ruined too & gang stalking people…You would disappear too…Meet another motley assortment of messups at another church, uncontrolled nuts or adult bullies elsewhere and deal with their badmouthing me too in my community so bad I cannot work here. Nothing except employment & networking for this is worthwhile due to the social problems at the moment. I even got discriminated against in education so badly twice, I barely passed the classes and one school even had instructors who had been sued for this; school kept the discriminators & allowed them to practice while students ruined had no assistance. I get to pay the student loans for a long time & could have been worse…I moved hours to go to this school & find out they ruin people & most in the city will mistreat (ruin) anyone if the voices demand it but this is reality delusion…I got screwed from so many directions with this move, I ran off to avoid worse stories I had heard from victims…
I’m 40 and I get a lot of crap for not working…I tried so many part-time jobs in my hometown there was no way I can get calls for full-time work…(I was not fired either but tried too many desperation moves like situations I could not handle with physical limitations, 50 miles for $6 hour, 2 hour shifts…then the coworkers went a little nutty after I cut ties with the abusers I met as this is how the rest of the people handle even a little bit of the voices. I also live with father who worked as janitor at high school at 16 so his drunk father couldn’t beat him & grandma any longer so this is tough situation to live with parents even a while to get away from my mistake to move for school. Sadly, my in-laws work in psych care & seemed happy when they scored a touch-down on me & state they had a mentally ill person in the family who doesn’t work. (I even tried to get this one to work with me on dealing with social problems but she refuses to even treat me with respect any longer… I avoid her as she has no filter on her mouth & just lets it all spew out. I never showed her any disrespect or unkindness either…She was okay with me. Her son seems to be a little warped too so, well - you know.)
I’ve seen a lot of crazy hellos out of new people too & had to move to new neighborhood with the wealthier set who will treat anyone on a check worse & these folks have no worries financially as their parents support them forever…In poor area, I’ve had gang of 8 people repeatedly surround me and harass me about being on the check & I never discussed it there… Unless you already know the person, I don’t think you want anything social. Some of my friendly acquaintances were told by their pastors to stop talking to me as ‘this is how we handle this’ and I was not the one introducing around a group of sex abusers as okay. I’m just some woman they met at work & chose to ruin… These folks saying they were going to give me the silent treatment were also a little spastic sometimes anyway so they have problems…
Delicately, I wish I could pass as retired so I could be left alone about it more as I would work part-time & never worry again, but I’m 40. I was going to return to full-time work but the gang stalking is just too bad here now to deal with my previous kinda job and I’m now unable to handle anything physical due to an injury…Some of the gang stalkers will haunt you at work and I worked in something life/death for customers with thankless management, so I just cannot take this chance of getting sued. Local wages tanked so badly, it won’t even pay enough to do this job any longer anyway.
I highly recommend you even avoid attending church in your own neighborhood as the personality problems of the troubled members can haunt you worse. It is also better to only attend a church with an invite from an existing member or holidays only. NAMI could be okay if you have it available.
I so understand, when I finally get all the debt paid off from my flight from the big city to try the college there after selling my home of 10+ years, I am looking for an apartment in smaller city and just live for a while. I get a job elsewhere in a couple months whereas this place is 18 months+. I am considering a ‘lifestyle change’ to just working at home & do little socially until I see who is who in smaller town & probably consider it too much effort to even bother with any longer. (I tried living in a little town and some were being mentally tortured into verbally harassing strangers but the vandalisms were less but these would hit workplaces BAD!!!) A bit of ground, gardening, a couple pets, some income and a house sound best to me and just left alone but this will be tough. I also have to study into new work field on my own. I get to pay the student loans for years longer…
My family will not help me at all with exception of residence in their basement in city near the group of abusers I met and who chased me out of my long-time home in a city with few good job options & really nasty people. I also get to see the family with mental care workers flaunting it & deal with what they think is normal…
You can try to get Section 8 in smaller town pretty easily like under a year when city is 4 years. USDA rural housing also loans on houses for most even a county away from larger city. If you want a change and no reputation or fewer troubled nuts, it could be an hour down the road. But, those who don’t attend church will be treated worse.
Sorry so long, it’s been bad few months but I’m fine. PM me if you want to chat.
I just try to make each new day a bit better than the last. I don’t always succeed, but that’s the mark I aim for. Find it less stressful than trying to live up to the expectations of others.
10-96
“All right” is what I answer when someone who I don’t think really cares asks me how I am. I also use that answer when I don’t feel like talking about how I really feel with people.
All right is when the patient himself feels all right. Due to working out my meds, I feel like things are all right. Some of my problems and are still here, but I feel like if I could only start doing things, things would be all right for me. Sometimes good, not perfect. But I do feel comfortable with myself due to working out my meds one by one with me taking an active role.
I use ‘so so’ or ‘not bad’. I keep a lot to myself because in the past when I sought help I got negative and hostile reactions. I don’t want those days to return so ‘so so’ or ‘not bad’ is a way of avoiding saying much. Occasionally the barrier comes down and I’ll mention something like the anxiety. The response and no offer of help, ’ It’s to be expected with your paranoia’.
Right now I am extremely angry and things are not “all right”.