İ was quite and shy child.i wasn t smart but i used to have will learn lot.i was unaware of my gender and i thought i was gay.one day i said this to my middle school friend and he said to all school.after that i get abused lot.it was nightmare.after that i met with my current wife in high school.we made lot of adventures together.went to australia singapore etc.we are still together.if she was not with me i was probably death because of suicide.i think middle school trauvmas play big role at developing schizophrenia at me.but i was not normal too.
0-7: Prone to nightmares as a toddler.1st school flagged up difficulties. Badly coordinated. Stammered. At 5/6 assessed for what was then the S word . Negative result. Nothing else was looked for. Quite asocial. Didn’t play much with my younger brother and sister.
8-13:Went to prep school. Started bed wetting again. That occurred almost every day for first 3 years. Didn’t bed wet at home. Some teasing.Described as poorly coordinated. Bad at drawing and writing.Not good at sports. Had to have handwriting lessons Had to do foot/walking exercises due to flat feet and high instep. Had insoles in my shoes. Didn’t play much with others. Introverted. Shy.
13-18. At public school. Verbal bullying started soon after going there, due to my naively not boasting about my sexual knowledge like the other boys in the dormitory. Social anxiety due to that started just before I was 14.At 15-16 became increasingly depressed. Regarded by my peers as strange. No friends . Very unpopular. Things started going even more downhill after O levels. Constant worry about going to uni which I knew I was not practically or socially equipped to do. School work deteriorated.Had always been an under performer but after O levels it was far worse.
I was messed up as a kid and different in a bad way to my twin. So my Mom took me to one doctor after another. Eventually decades after I was diagnosed with schizophrenia she gave up on me being like my twin.
I was a child prodigy. 2 years ahead in school and I was 4th in the national chess championship (-12y).
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