what were the issues that lead to your psychotic episode?
Severe childhood abuse. Probably but I also think it was just in my biology.
sorry to hear brother…mine was drug induced psychosis
isolation dating back to my childhood
low self esteem
chronic depression
enormous stress trying to work and provide for myself
geneitc
pre destiny
beings in other demensions
I got PTSD from my first psychotic episode
Too much stress. Bad roommates, full time job, double major at school, orchestra work. All that together and I went out at my weakest point.
I think it was a combination of drinking too much coffee, up to 2 or 3 pots a day, not getting enough b-vitamins, as I was vegan for 4 years, post traumatic stress, I felt like I was in battle all the time, and too much wine during my off hours. those were probably the big ones, but honestly im not entirely sure. I always had bad anxiety in my teen years til I was about 30.
I can’t say. I don’t remember much from that time, just seeing the demons and being scared.
It all stems from low self esteem
Piracetam abuse, and lack of insight that I was losing my mind, so I kept abusing it.
Was hospitalized 3 times for it.
One of my ancestors committed a grievous sin and God put a curse on my Dad’s first born. Yep I believe that was it.
Rejection by my classmates at12. Then drugs and social confusion and isolation. I did some shameful things too and they took a toll on my self image.
Before I heard my main voices I used to get neighbours talking about me if I was outside their house, that was due to severe anxiety and low self esteem and from being out in public. The main voices only kicked in when I was being followed by my old work colleague who’s in the IRA, that was obviously enough to make the voices I already had much worse. More paranoia
Both times it was stress/anxiety related. Im afraid that I’m headed for another one, as I’m getting super stressed.
My first psychotic break came from me being sued by a credit card company. My dad didnt help by screaming at me like I was the devil. He was so mad, I was scared and ashamed, and it triggered my first psychotic symptoms.
My second psychotic break came about 15 months later. I started a new and stressful job, my girlfriend broke up with me, and I started a new major at college that I hated with a passion.
I fear I’m headed for a third psychotic break, because I cant hold a job and I’m feeling too much pressure at home. I just got out of a partial hospitalization, and I start DBT group tomorrow, so I’m hoping that helps to take me off the edge.
I had problems socializing since I was about 13 years old. I remember being alone at school with no one to talk to. At about 20 years old I had severe depression which never got treated, for about 4 years. I was failing miserably in school and I didn’t see any future. Then for about a year I did everything I could, like writing letters and being evaluated, to get into psychoanalysis. I was trying to convince myself I needed it. This drove me deep into self criticism.
So there were stresses. I sunk into psychosis at about age 25.
But really I blame the biology.
I think my birth was a trauma. I was always sensitive as a child because of this. This lead to one event lead to another. A lot of things. Trauma, environment, drugs, maybe genetics too it runs in my family. But I tend to think I wouldn’t have had it if I had a different fate same genetics.
Eating disorder
Excessive caffeine
Work stress
Family stress
Stuff from the past haunting me persistently and gradually overtaking me
Genes
From ptsd. From drugs. For no reason. From Mixed episodes.
Just a wild guess, but I think being schizophrenic may have had something to do with it.
Family history of mental illness
Childhood abuse
Premature birth and infections
Two head injuries in childhood
Alchohol and drug use from age 11 (including LSD)