what were the issues that lead to your psychotic episode?
Severe childhood abuse. Probably but I also think it was just in my biology.
sorry to hear brother…mine was drug induced psychosis
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isolation dating back to my childhood
low self esteem
chronic depression
enormous stress trying to work and provide for myself
geneitc
pre destiny
beings in other demensions
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I got PTSD from my first psychotic episode
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Too much stress. Bad roommates, full time job, double major at school, orchestra work. All that together and I went out at my weakest point.
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I think it was a combination of drinking too much coffee, up to 2 or 3 pots a day, not getting enough b-vitamins, as I was vegan for 4 years, post traumatic stress, I felt like I was in battle all the time, and too much wine during my off hours. those were probably the big ones, but honestly im not entirely sure. I always had bad anxiety in my teen years til I was about 30.
I can’t say. I don’t remember much from that time, just seeing the demons and being scared.
It all stems from low self esteem
Piracetam abuse, and lack of insight that I was losing my mind, so I kept abusing it.
Was hospitalized 3 times for it.
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One of my ancestors committed a grievous sin and God put a curse on my Dad’s first born. Yep I believe that was it.
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Rejection by my classmates at12. Then drugs and social confusion and isolation. I did some shameful things too and they took a toll on my self image.
Before I heard my main voices I used to get neighbours talking about me if I was outside their house, that was due to severe anxiety and low self esteem and from being out in public. The main voices only kicked in when I was being followed by my old work colleague who’s in the IRA, that was obviously enough to make the voices I already had much worse. More paranoia
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Both times it was stress/anxiety related. Im afraid that I’m headed for another one, as I’m getting super stressed.
My first psychotic break came from me being sued by a credit card company. My dad didnt help by screaming at me like I was the devil. He was so mad, I was scared and ashamed, and it triggered my first psychotic symptoms.
My second psychotic break came about 15 months later. I started a new and stressful job, my girlfriend broke up with me, and I started a new major at college that I hated with a passion.
I fear I’m headed for a third psychotic break, because I cant hold a job and I’m feeling too much pressure at home. I just got out of a partial hospitalization, and I start DBT group tomorrow, so I’m hoping that helps to take me off the edge.
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I had problems socializing since I was about 13 years old. I remember being alone at school with no one to talk to. At about 20 years old I had severe depression which never got treated, for about 4 years. I was failing miserably in school and I didn’t see any future. Then for about a year I did everything I could, like writing letters and being evaluated, to get into psychoanalysis. I was trying to convince myself I needed it. This drove me deep into self criticism.
So there were stresses. I sunk into psychosis at about age 25.
But really I blame the biology.
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I think my birth was a trauma. I was always sensitive as a child because of this. This lead to one event lead to another. A lot of things. Trauma, environment, drugs, maybe genetics too it runs in my family. But I tend to think I wouldn’t have had it if I had a different fate same genetics.
Eating disorder
Excessive caffeine
Work stress
Family stress
Stuff from the past haunting me persistently and gradually overtaking me
Genes
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From ptsd. From drugs. For no reason. From Mixed episodes.
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Just a wild guess, but I think being schizophrenic may have had something to do with it.
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Family history of mental illness
Childhood abuse
Premature birth and infections
Two head injuries in childhood
Alchohol and drug use from age 11 (including LSD)