What to do when things are the worst they've been?

I’ve been progressively getting more sick for years. The past few months have been hardest. I stay in bed almost everyday all day, (doing nothing but having panic attacks, crying, and sleeping) and I maybe eat one meal MAYBE if I can make myself get out of bed. Haven’t drank water in years. I know this is making me worse but I physically cannot bring myself to get out of bed. I just want to die. And I’m so sad and anxious and losing my sanity that I wouldn’t be surprised if I did just die randomly since I haven’t been able to take care of myself in so long.

I have an appointment with my Pdoc this Friday. Going to ask about ECT.

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Hey I know how it feels. I don’t leave my house nowadays, just visit this forum and browse the internet mostly. I tried to kill myself a month ago out of desperation, it didn’t work and I spent 2 and a half weeks in the hospital. All you can really do is do things that make you happy and try and keep hope alive. That’s all I’ve got.

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You might as well mention Clozaril.

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@valiumprincess hang tough.
I know you’re a tough cookie.
The most important thing is staying alive.
That’s the most important thing.
The rest is just a bonus:
after all not all of us are equally lucky.
I say that the most important thing is staying alive,
and persistently trying to improve your situation.

Life in any form is precious.
It is sacred.
As an added bonus you may live to experience a better life one day.
Don’t get upset and never give up.
The most important thing is staying alive and persistently trying to improve your situation.

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Could you get assisted living for a while?

There are houses long term or short term or have a carer visit you for a while.

I have even considered it for myself when I have felt I am not coping.

Talk to your dr about it and go through what medication works for you and get good help.

Assisted living or living in a home can be a lot of support 24/7 there is someone there for you.

You can have them think of your food and hydration.

Wishing you well.

:pray:t3::two_hearts:

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Hey it’s gonna be ok we all have rough patches. Make sure to mention to your doctor how you’ve been feeling. I know what it’s like to be in low points like that but I know you can make it through this. I wish I could do something to help more but all i can say is try to stay strong!

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Thank you all so much! Its comforting knowing however ■■■■■■ up I feel, other people have experienced what I am experiencing, and I’m not alone in this.

I will do this, thanks for mentioning it!

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Nothing mostly. I’m broke and haven’t contributed to groceries in my house in a long time so I don’t bother asking for something special to drink since I can’t have water. I like strawberry milk. Milkshakes. Juice. I don’t really have the luxury of drinking those but I do have coffee once in a while (dumb I know since it dehydrates)

thats so sad, i feel horrible mostly in the evening or at night, i take so much meds its ridiculous, my schizophrenia diagnostic was confirmed a second time and it drives me nuts, i feel useless too because i cant work because of this illness, id gladly die for someone else to be better who has it worse than me, im sick of it SICK OF IT!

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Water is a must… Dehydration leads to inflamatiom and depression.

I didn’t realize you were struggling so hard. I’m not one to write of difficulties just in the environment you are trapped in.

Baby steps are a winner. I don’t want to pry so I won’t get into the nature of why you’re struggling psychologically… So I won’t.

But if you can’t paint a positive image out of the world and interacting then something is really going wrong.

If you are hallucinating it might be important to consider this a legitimate relapse and seek hospitalization and more personal professional attention.

I will say you have a beautiful eye for photography…

All I can say is I’m sorry beyond that. I’m hoping something comes together for you soon.

Never neglect simple nutrition or hygeinics… A warm shower and favorite food with a favorite TV can go along way in making someone more comfortable in being awake.

My two cents.

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Can you make it to a food bank?

Yes, I actually live in the same building as one. My anxiety is very bad though, I can’t really interact with people and I’m not good with asking questions. So that’s stopped me from going there.

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Life was like that for me when I was on Haldol. I’d lay in bed 15 - 20 hours a day. Life is dramatically better now that I am on Geodon and Seroquel. Maybe you should work with your therapist to see if you can find some new med’s. That can make a huge difference. Try to remember that things can get better. You can get through this tough spot. Life can improve.

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A lot of people have had success with ECT,

I’m not sure what the process for that is,

But if you feel like its something you’re interested in, ask.

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I have learned that when I think things are the worst they can be,
a mean little sprite will hear this and,
prove me wrong.

You can deteriorate until you die, or you can take a step out of the hole…only you can decide.

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I dont know where you’re from so I don’t know what meds are available where you live but I think I recall you saying you are med resistant. I had the same problem for years. I took Invega a few years ago and after being on it for like six months it began to work for me. Then my pdoc wanted me to try Vraylar and that helps me even more. But it took a bit to really work. I am so sorry you are suffering so much. I wish I could really help you. Talk to your pdoc and hang in there.

Can you send this food bank an email - @valiumprincess?

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@valiumprincess, who’s helping you? You must have parents, right? Can they enroll you in some kind of day program? I was in one during a relapse. It was pretty informal and it got me out of the house. I was going through a horrible time then but I got to play ping-pong every day and I made a friend, and we did some pretty basic stuff like play board games and charades. At least once after it let out one day, I walked directly out of the building and checked myself into the evaluation room to see if I belonged in the psyche ward. But I was back in the program in a few days.

Another thing that we have in California is mental health workers who pay house calls. Some friendly person who has some training in the mental health field will visit you and just talk to you or go for a walk with you or even take you out to a coffee shop. I believe my health insurance would have paid. But I’m sure they have this in other states. Actually, I couldn’t use the in-home counselor because they deemed me too high functioning because I was able to shower and dress myself. But, to help yourself or to have people help you, it helps to be creative and just see what’s out there that’s available for people in your situation.

I know you are suffering but believe me, there are people who are worse off than you and they survive. There are many schizophrenics before you who suffered and there will be many after you who suffer but they will survive.

There’s an old saying, “When you are going through hell, keep going.”

Sometimes life looks impossible, but things change. In 1986 I was 26 years old and I had had been schizophrenic for 7 years. I was fairly stable but life was just hard and my symptoms were terrible despite the fact I was working. One day I took the bus to a strip mall to met my mom and my future stepfather for coffee. We got our drinks and talked. Of course they asked me how I was doing and at that point I was discouraged and suicidal and I felt like giving up and I told them this. They tried to cheer me up and my step-dad told me, "Hey, they can come out with new, more effective medication at any time. He was right. Two years later, the second generation of anti-psychotics came out and my doc put me on these. So that happened in my lifetime. And it could happen again. I have felt much like you have but I made it through and came out the other side.

Once someone asked me what my secret to recovery was.
Here it is: Lot’s of help
Lot’s of hard work,
and lots of luck.
So I wish you good luck. Lots of people want to help you. People dedicate their whole lives to helping us. We just have to cooperate and let them help.

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