These voices tell me that i’m nothing. Belittle me. They say things like filthy whore. Jump into the fire and you should die. You hurt people darn day… stuff i have never heard of its my mind over real life matters. It hurts like hell. With that being said i have to say that i feel very unsettled and and my actions where to be expected none. i literally do nothing for myself since im scared to be alone. It hurts to hear mean voices and this episode of delusions was brought on by the doctor that im seeing he messed up on meds so it took longer to get them then expected.
Static from my head … i was so hungry the other day and i saw static come from the top of my head. I had a panic attack at a hospital. I was driving with my mom and all of a sudden my legs got numb and i was overwhelmed with anxiety… This man in a wheelchair was crying for help and it was for someone to come to his side and help instead of helping him i ran away i couldn’t. I also want to go on a cleanse but i am scared too. Im afraid that the shadow people will laugh at me. I dont see them anymore really except when im in my own room.
I only heard voices that where not inside my head once or twice, but I found it really disturbing, so I’m sorry for what you’re going through. Have you talked to your doctor about these symptoms? the voices and anxiety…
im seeing him every two months or so…
Two distinct women who talk about me. Very negative and hurtful. They can see everything I do no matter where I am. That helps me somewhat because I know they can’t be real.
Making a mess involves me playing up to them. Ive done that since i wasnt able to get out of my room. And i wasnt able to see through it, like the doctor says, hense i never get out but i should since when im like this its more difficult to do things in public which makes me feel like stupid since i have the ability to act like a complete moron when im cooped up in the room or house. and the doc seems to want to know when im like really delusional all the time when i see him.
Like once i went to carls jr with a friend i met at a local downtown shelter. he was cleaning the floor and i was talking to someone. it appeared i was talking to the voices and the shadow people i felt at the time, where coming to get me and since then i have been dealing with anxiety about what i can and cant do.but anyways when i want like ie… cleanses and stuff to help my body I cant since i fear to do anything productive would make me look selfish.This friend i met took me to the restaurant . But anyways like i was saying makes me claustrophobic and nervous ( beedee eyed ) and i had a burger it was like to biggest one on the menu. I was so nervous ordering. And this friend is a silent 50 something, maybe like 60 year old black man that took me to a church once so i just met the guy but i still couldn’t handle being there. when i took a bite. I started to get upset and cry. I felt as if the walls were crashing in on me and i could never be OK inside a fast food restaurant since i was not just experiencing doubt in myself but i was unable to deal with my problems with eating out and having fried food.
bathing becomes a problem. I would hear the drain make sounds and the voices told me to get on the floor in the bathroom and lie on the carpet inside there. During bath time i hear voices like those. Their in the toilet and in the shower,. so a nice bath gets the job done since the constant shower of water scares me …I wasnt ever like that i would just take a shower or with friends even but i started to get paranoid since hearing things got worse and seeing different men run around me became my major issue.
the ability to express happiness to my family… i started dealing with social withdraw quite a long time ago and i haven’t since addressed it with the psycho analyst. I cant look at peoples faces when i’m in public and i try to rehearse what the voices say to me and follow though with what their saying so i believe them over looking at real people. i follow the leader. which in my case seems to be the voices and its makes people looking at me a problem. i cant look back i just gaze somewhere else i think there’s a term for this but i dont know what it is.