What the hell

I won’t complain, anymore, and I don’t. I never complain. Just try to get things resolved. I’m constantly at my wits end trying to resolve conflicts that other people start. I’m sick of the ponzi’s and the cheap trash that steal everything…I still don’t know where my dad lives. He took 2 of my authorized credit cards last year and promised to pay them off early in exchange for me moving home or something I forget. Then he moved out, my lawyer who was his divorce attorney, defended me in a stupid trial I was not even willingly involved in, then the false charge and false evidence were destroyed, and I was never charged or indited to my knowledge, and then my dad moves out. Just dips out and blames it on people I had since then cut ties with since the entire thing spun me out and confused me. He has the keys to the mailbox, and he won’t tell me where he moved. Well I can’t get any bills, and he’s waiting for the capital one bill for the last card. I called capital one and they refuse to tell ME THE CARD HOLDER, MY BALANCE, even after I told them my social security number name and birthdate, then REFUSED to help me access my online account. Told me to go to the bank again, and the bank is refusing to talk to CapitalOne. My dad also is controlling my BBT account, co-signed even though I was supposed to be the primary cardholder and tricked me into thinking I was the primary card holder i feel like, and then he moved money from my savings into my debit card, drained my savings, got my savings account closed, then my moneyaccount is now no longer even a debit card but a prepaid money account. He gives me $30 a day, I am on food stamps for $50 a month, he’s not buying food gas or anything, just paying the mortgage even though he left tons of personal papers in the filing cabinets, and checks etc. and Social security cards, then he won’t talk to me about “long-term plans” or answer phone calls. My brother said he knows where he lives, but won’t tell me. It’s creepy. My mom’s in a step down unit that my father is chairman of the board. Someone told me they saw him at the hospital, and said they recognized his name. What the hell is going on. WHAT AM I excepted to do, wake up after being sick to be slapped across the face. Is that how it works down in this ■■■■■■ up matrix? Or do people actually have ■■■■■■■ guts you two faced hypocrites. I can heal anything, prophecy does exist, and corruption isn’t a plan it’s a choice. Kneel and pray.

Maybe you could look for assistance somewhere. Lawyers are expensive, but maybe you could get help from the state in the form of a case manager. It sounds kind of like you’re falling through the cracks as far as getting help with your finances goes.

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I realize that I have Bipolar. I went to the ER to try and get a medication refill and I was put at the end of the hall and told it would be fifteen minutes but I knew it would be six hours. I am trying really hard to beat the negativity but everyone was attacking me, because I have a special part to play in existence, and I am always on the fence because I have been bullied a lot. I’m not political, or an activist, but i believe in freedom and law and democracy. I’m not anti-police but I am opposed to abuse of power or brutality in all forms. I try to avert situations, and do things to the best of my ability. It’s hard being different. It’s hard knowing how to determine people’s expressions or intentions. A lot of people are lying about me. Lots of rumors and most of them are exaggerated or completely made up. Rumors because I had a bad group of people who talked a lot and scared and intimidated me. I didn’t realize they were bad people because they never talked bad in front of me, and took advantage of my mental illness. I also get paranoid but I’ve learned to listen to my intuition which has adapted to situations. I feel proud of being able to get this far, but still people don’t understand schizophrenia. My doctor asked me what I wanted from him when I burst out crying, and said I’m bipolar but i’m not. I don’t have mood swings, I have schizophrenia, not psychosis just a genetic difference like all people are different.

I don’t know why they aren’t acknowledging a mental illness I was diagnosed with for the past ten years until a year ago. In some ways, I thought that it made sense because no one would believe me if they thought i had schizophrenia and treated me like I was crazy when I defended myself against the allegations and lies. I don’t need to talk about all that happened, because the charge was dismissed or dropped and all the allegations and false evidence are supposed to be destroyed. But it really scared me because there was a stack of 30 pages that weren’t given to the police, and they read them to me at the prep trial, not real trial, to see if I should be a witness to something I had no knowledge of that could determine enough to really prove what happened. Most of that being because of the nature of the confusion surrounding the whole thing. I think they were fishing, but it was intense. I was facing a 15 year sentence and a felony charge for burglary of the defense who was accused of a worse crime. I was supposed to receive some kind of discovery or at least, go to the trial but they told me not to come. I wanted to come but the prosecutor told me not to come. Knowing what happened was important to me, and I was really affected by what happened, by not letting me at least understand what happened, and keeping me in the dark it made me suffer more.