You wanna know what sucks about being anxious as well as having paranoia?
When my friend hasn’t replied for a few days, my mind automatically skips the “he’s probably just busy” part and goes straight to “he’s lying dead somewhere” or “he’s furious with me for some reason”.
I hate it that I automatically assume the worst, when 9/10 times, nothing is wrong. Why does that little voice in the back of my mind always want to convince me people are mad at me?
Now I’m sitting here, worried that he’s angry with me becuase I either did something I wasn’t supposed to, or didn’t do something I had promised to do, but I have no idea what.
I’m sitting here carefully counting the hours and days between each casual text I send him, trying to gauge if he’s alright and happy.
I hate it that I can’t just relax and stop worrying about everything. I hate it that I feel like a bother for sending people worried texts asking if they’re ok after I haven’t heard from them.
I hate it that I always overthink.
Reduce the timeframe to a few hours and that’s me in a nutshell.
My strategy is twofold: first, come up with at least three non-catastrophic explanations for why someone hasn’t responded. I don’t have to believe them or find them compelling (as my pdoc told me, what could possibly be more compelling than that they’re lying dead somewhere?) but I do need to make my brain get used to thinking of reasons that are not disasters.
Second, I keep a list of the situation, what I thought the explanation was, and what the explanation really was. “Mom didn’t answer phone for two hours / carbon monoxide poisoning / at movies with dad.” It helps to look back on this when I’m freaking out about a new situation.
@Berru You expressed yourself very well and that is the first step in overcoming such a problem. Now that you see it, it may lessen over time. That seems to be how it works for me. I have had the same sort of compulsive worrying and thinking negatively that lasted for some while, but eventually eased up.
personally, i dont really like ppl who leave others on hold with texts. especially if its for daaaaays, and or if they have read it already but just dont reply. i used to have this type of paranoia too but now im just like no sweat though! you’ll eventually obtain the skill to not care cuz someday you’ll end up being so tired and not wanting to give a f*** lol
dont worry! the anxiety and paranoia sucks i know.
but to think that something could be wrong or reflecting on yourself to think that you might have been the problem is actually a good social skill becuz u would be more likely to have a systems thinking approach to things. i can tell that you dont just think “why” something happened, but rather “why” and “how” and also what additional results could come out from what you do. u might think about things more than u need to, but it also means ur a great analyzer.
so yeah some of its paranoia and overthinking (cuz we sz’s lets keep it real lolol), but i do see this as a good thing in a way!..idk, dont a lot of ppl say sz is linked to high intelligence? well it kinda seems like a lot of us on this forum are smart^^
lol i kinda feel like the dude thats left u alone needs to get some skills like u. he doesnt think about the possible feelings of uncertainty and awkwardness that the other person would feel if theyre left alone with no reply for several of days. i think ppl like that are the ones who have actually have trouble socializing successfully.
lol i just analyzed a lot too. but u see the way i analyzed was not based on a biased opinion that u were the problem. i try not to think im always the problem myself in a lot of situations either. thinking beyond urself and suggesting to yourself of others for faults is also a useful skill that you can slowly train urself to get. practicing that might be good. cuz u dont always want to think ur the issue. with u i think its just paranoia, and 9 times out of 10 u r not the problem.
lastly, ur just very caring. this guy effin left u alone for freakin several days yet ur worried about him, and questioning if u did something wrong. need i say more?
sorry this got long. just dont want u to sweat it. if it still bothers u a lot, try doing things u like to distract urself from thinking about it. hope u feel less anxious soon, Berru. (^-^)/
no sweat though! you’ll eventually obtain the skill to not care cuz someday you’ll end up being so tired and not wanting to give a f*** lol
this guy effin left u alone for freakin several days yet ur worried about him, and questioning if u did something wrong. need i say more? 