What should I do

I want trust and transparency but I deal heavy with paranoia. One of the things I asked from my partner is to have access to all social media accounts and his phone. But he doesn’t want to give me access to any of it. I’m a very paranoid person so for the most part small things can lead me down the rabbit hole. What he is asking for is access to all finances and share everything. Am I wrong for wanting trust and transparency? And he blames my paranoia as to why he won’t give me trust and transparency although it is a factor but I still want transparency. Should I give in despite my paranoia or should I be persistent with wanting trust and transparency to ease my paranoia.

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You don’t need to give him power over your finances and he doesn’t need to give you access to all his private information.

I wish you the best in your future.


Thank you I like this idea. But he is trying to make it a requirement for us to be together and I’m just to paranoid for that.

All relationships have deal breakers.

Tell him that you can’t be expected to trust someone else with your finances.

You have paranoia, make it known. You very well might not want to trust him.

If you can manage your bills yourself you shouldn’t give up control unless you are incapable of paying them.

I’ve had to struggle with overspending for the last few months, and I’ve only gotten moderate control, but I wouldn’t be this far without having had the practice. I used to be very frugal but I feel like I could’ve lost all my money to healthcare and I’d be in debt up to my ears anyway if anything happened. So I dunno I lost some of that “for the future” thinking.

I still need to improve my habits but I can also pay my bills.

If you’re in a similar situation, you need to grapple with what’s internally going on thats making you spend.

For me it was something similar to comfort eating and I’ve been able to go longer without being satisfied by a consumerist purchase.


I do well with taking care of my Bill’s and keeping home I dont need help with that at all. He just feels like hes better with it. I’m to paranoid to do it. I think it’s best to leave things as it is.

I’m going through the same thing with my husband. I want constant access to his phone and all accounts because I get very paranoid about him cheating. He hasnt given me reason to feel that way but I cant shake off the paranoia. Its destroying the relationship and hes just tired and ready to leave after the constant accusing. Ive been off meds for years so Im hoping going back on them will help with the jealousy and obsession with checking on him


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