What should i do here?

Alright so i went off my meds, or am late for my injection (only by a week) and now im having delusional thoughts… or atleast i hope they are delusions because if they represent reality im in some real trouble.

Basically two-three days ago i did DPH (diphenhydramine), about 3000 mg over two days and i lost an entire days memory… for all i know i could still be tripping or maybe i died and am now in some void in space, no idea.

So im just concerned that i am still alive and actually hurt someone. I have no memory or evidence that i hurt anyone… but its a strong feeling i have and all o can think right now is that i should kill myself before i eventually get locked up and forced to live in this horrid mind of mine.

Going to the hospital seems way to embarressing and risky because i dont want to get locked up forever. I think its time to call it in and cut my loses before i lose the choice. Who knows, maybe existence is less cruel after this one ends.

Going to a hospital would be a better move. I’m sure you won’t get locked up forever; you will just get the help you need. No reason to be embarrassed about seeking help.

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No thats what they want. Family is watching this thread and triggered me on purpose. Im fine. Thinking ill flip and come home. Dont need you… glad to be rid of you.

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