When I was eighteen I joined the army wanting to be an airborne ranger. I thought I was a bad dude, but I probably wasn’t the right person for that job. When I came back from signing my contract with the army, my mom came into the bathroom while I was looking in the mirror. She looked at me very seriously and said, “I can’t think of any way you could hurt me any worse than to be a professional killer.” At the time I blocked it. I said, “It’s too late now.” I think it affected me quite a bit more than I thought. My mom never expressed such negative sentiments about my decision to join the army up until then. She could hit me with a heavy doses of guilt. I didn’t get to be an airborne ranger, which might have been for the best. It was a contractual mess up. I think it might have had something I very stupidly said to a very powerful man in my hometown.
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