Schizophrenia.com

What makes someone lovable?

I wasn’t verbally lovable. I’d say cruel things about people. I was a lot happier at a time when I learned to listen more than I spoke.

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When I was younger people would call me quirky in a nice way. I was a funny kid.
Now I’m just weird and feel unlovable but yet my family continues to love me.

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My best friend from childhood I found her very loveable because she wasn’t afraid to be vulnerable, she was funny, and appreciative of me.

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I dont think i’m lovable… my friends tend to avoid me. I think its because the things i say are not really important. I feel like im an odd person. People who are lovable have good social skills i guess. Or people who do things for other people.

I tend to avoid my 2 friends cos I know they will end up not enjoying seeing me,… I’m just too depressed.

I’m sure the things u say are important

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I was always told and believed that you were loveable when you loved yourself. But, I love myself and have for a long time now and no one loves me. But, I love myself. And God loves me and that is all that matters.

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Once I accepted my regrets about my past I slowly began to love myself…I am happy with who I am.

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I think being strong yet vulnerable makes someone loveable. Like showing initiative but also having a soft side. Not too much of one or the other.

There’s a phenomenon known as the “pratfall effect” that shows a person who is strong but shows a fallible side is more attractive than someone who just has a flawlessly strong front.

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I must have a flawlessly strong front.

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Money……………………

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I was always the quiet kid. I never said a thing unless someone asked me a question. People thought I was being polite and a good listener. So they smothered me with compliments. I just didn’t enjoy people’s company tbh. I’ve always enjoyed my own company. As I got older I started to feel pressured to talk to people and I didn’t really like it. Now I speak more because I’ve found my own voice and I learned to acclimate. But, I still enjoy being alone from time to time. I read my books, study and just entertain myself.

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Honesty. I’ve found if you actually listen to people and appreciate what they are saying you’ll be loved.

I’ve always been a talker. It’s not really a strategy. I just like to talk and I find other interesting. We’re all different but knowing those differences really does help.

@Jayster years ago had a great post about how people like their coffee. It really resonated with me and it’s a good point. You may not know people too well but if you know how they take their coffee…I’m milk, two sugars…you go a long way to knowing the start of someones story!

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I think a good sense of humor helps.

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I think everyone is loveable.

So says my deepak Chopra books😜

But people can have bad behaviours that are not such lovable behaviours which may make one avoid them if they are bad behaved.

My friends left me too :open_mouth:

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I was afraid I’d never be able to hold down a job because I didn’t want to or couldn’t talk to people. I think it led to my breakdown.

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I still tend to be a bit off and unable to communicate. Living alone always doesn’t help me really. And, I have personality, dissacociation issues along with sza. I worry about trying to get a job as well.