What makes relationships crumble?

I was wondering what causes bad relationships. I have always accepted my failed relationships in the past for it being a personality clash or else just not meant to be. I’m not talking about just romantic relationships but also our interaction with friends and siblings.

My question is this. Should I just accept that my sz is to blame for all failed relationships? I do not think that it is fair since I believe that I’m a good person with a lot to give.


People getting married. Once a couple get married, they jettison their friends. That’s one reason.

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I think a lack of positive and open communication is death to a relationship. You have to be able to trust each other and speak openly. Otherwise, it’s not a real friendship.


Sz can be part of the reason, mood change actions etc, another is when one person really likes something and the other does not, probably as many reasons as there are relationships.

I would not beat yourself up over it, where there is people there will be disagreements and drama


@Mountainman speaks truth. me and my brother used to hang around a lot, when we were children.

but when I got sz, I stopped going outside as frequently as I used to go outside. I can’t even go walking with my brother, without having my eyes looking at the ground and avoiding the sights. Even the television and video games, which we used to watch and play, seem to be giving me messages. I like reading books, but my brother isn’t much into the books that I read.

our relationship crumbled; but we still love each other a lot. we still talk and have fun educated discords. even every once in a while, I play video games or watch tv with him.


disappointment, boredom, social anxieties, lack of economic progress, having children, lies… and people trying to pry them apart from the outside for personal gain (even if it just to alleviate jealousy).

oh forgot an important one… bad sex


The same goes for me. My relationship with my family growing up was strained, I don’t know why. We never communicated much. We don’t talk to each other now, like no one calls me, I don’t call them and we just assume we’re okay. We don’t care about each other basically. I don’t know why- I never felt wanted by my family. I was highly attached to my boyfriend of four years though. I guess I felt like I could get what I needed from him because he wanted to have sex with me, but even he was highly critical of the way I am. Is your family highly critical of the way you act and everything you say? My family is hypocritical on top of it which confounds me. I am so glad I’m not the only one going through this.

I wish my relationships with my family were better. Well really just my sisters. I talk to my mum everyday. I speak with my father (my parents are divorced) at least once a month, sometimes more.

I have two sisters. Both older than me.

One of them I like very much and wish she would call me as much as I try calling her.

The other one is a major drama queen and I’m sure has narcissistic personality disorder and makes communicating with her very difficult. She never calls and I don’t bother calling her, I don’t have the patience for all the drama and she doesn’t react well to being challenged.

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Communication is sooooo important. I’m not the best communicator, but I try really hard to express myself and listen so that things don’t go unsaid. My friends, family and especially my husband need to know where I’m at to understand me, and vice versa. Being honest and straightforward, to me is the key to a good relationship.

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Lack of trust.
If two people can’t trust each other, they have nothing together.
Trust is the foundation for relationships.


Sometimes people realize that all the things they thought they had in common with a person aren’t really that strong, and then they realize their differences are greater.

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Think a lack of support, often people are against something their partner is into, when really many times it really does not matter and would be better to just be supportive rather than poke at them all the time.

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Any financial issue will destroy any relationship.

Sounds like your sister has some anger issues. Have you ever confronted her about feeling you have to be careful around her? Maybe she’s hurting inside and needs therapy? But it’s not fair for you to be stressed in your own home.

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Words or lack of words can make relationships crumble, I have a funny story, I was once married in America, over seven years, and I always told her I loved her, but then my mind changed in 1999 and stopped saying I love her and soon the marriage ended, the last words she told me 'you have not said any longer ‘I love you’, it is a true story, funny :smile:

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yep, it is funny, actually I was told by one priest before I got married that American women like to hear words ‘I love you’, it is funny …

Actually Russian women use a lot ‘я люблю тебя’ I love you …

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We accept the love we think we deserve - Stephen Chbosky, The Perks of Being a Wallflower.

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I have been married for three years, and things are stagnating. It’s really difficult because my libido isn’t near what it used to be, in fact it’s barely there at all. My wife is a very sexual person. this is a major rift. I love her, and I want to be with her, but short of going off my meds so that my libido returns, (which I WON’T do), I don’t know how wer’re going to survive.